Widowed in Saudi Arabia - Part 1

This is Part 1 of a 4-part series.


This is the true story of a young British woman who fell in love and got married to the man of her dreams, only to have her dreams shattered into an unimaginable nightmare when she became widowed in Saudi Arabia. Hers is a cautionary tale for all young women with stars in their eyes who happen to fall for a Prince Charming from Arabia and a story that must be told.


Asima was still a teenager in 1987 when she met Abdul, a handsome Saudi student who was a few years older than she. She was swept off her feet and six months later, they married. Within no time at all, she was happily pregnant with their son Faris and settled into a blissful family life in the U.K. Asima even became a Muslim, as many Western wives of Muslims do. Abdul kept his marriage a secret from his family until after Faris was born, explaining to Asima that his parents would be more accepting of her if they already had a child together. In early 1990, just a few months before the Gulf War started, they made the decision to move to Abdul’s native Saudi Arabia since they were struggling financially in England. The young couple’s plan was that they would give it a try for five years to see if Asima liked it there and could adapt, and if not they would move back to England.

Initially Abdul’s parents welcomed their new daughter-in-law and grandson with open arms and made room for them in their home in Makkah. After several months of working long hours at the family business with not much to show for it, Abdul thought they should try living in Jeddah, where he felt he could make more money to support his family. So they moved into a building owned by his father and lived there rent-free for a while. Asima remembers being home alone with baby Faris a lot while her husband worked long hours. She was terrified during the Gulf War, as residents were told to prepare a chemical safe room in the house, stock up on supplies of food and drink, and were even given gas masks. They lived through all that, and a while later Asima obtained her Saudi citizenship. As much as she hated living in Saudi Arabia, she also loved it at the same time. (Even though it is technically illegal to hold dual citizenship like this, it is common practice for Western countries to allow women in these situations to retain their original citizenship as well.)

Over the next few years, they shuffled back and forth between the UK and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia (KSA). Several years later Abdul decided to start up his own business from home in Jeddah so he would be able to spend more time with his little family. This proved to be a stroke of genius on his part, and soon they went from struggling to make ends meet to rolling in money. They built a huge villa in a nice part of the city, and they were truly happy and seemed to have it all. But the happier they were, the unhappier Asima’s in-laws seemed to get. They criticized Abdul for being so westernized and complained that he didn’t visit them enough. They told him that other people were sure to put the “evil eye” on them for living in such a huge home and for flaunting their success.

When Faris was almost ten years old, after many years of trying, Asima gave birth to their beautiful daughter Jannah. She was the spitting image of her doting father. At last their family was complete, and their futures looked bright and shiny. But as fate would have it, their “happily ever after” was not to be. Abdul became ill and was diagnosed with cancer. His family barged into their lives and took over with his care, shoving Asima and her children to the sidelines. Abdul optimistically held on to his positive attitude that he would beat the cancer and he and Asima talked about the future. A few months before his death, Abdul tried to warn her and told Asima to take the children back to England and leave him to die there in Saudi Arabia with his family. But how could she? What kind of a wife would do that? He was her soul mate, the love of her life, and deep down, she convinced herself that he just couldn’t or wouldn’t die. So she remained in Saudi Arabia, the faithful and loving wife.

One of Asima’s friends came to see her and advised her to be prepared for the worst. She suggested getting paperwork together that would show any assets and accounts in Asima’s name only because his family would likely try to take control of everything if Abdul died. Asima just shrugged it off. Abdul went into the hospital once again and they attempted to have paperwork drawn up – secretly, without the knowledge of Abdul’s family – that would allow Asima and the children to leave Saudi Arabia. (In Saudi Arabia, women and children are not allowed to travel without permission from their legal male guardian, called Mahram, usually the husband or father.) The hospital needed to verify the papers saying that Abdul was of sound mind. But the official at the hospital caused a big scene - in front of Abdul’s family - saying that Asima shouldn’t want to leave the country with the kids because they are Muslims! Of course Abdul’s family became enraged and he quietly told Asima to give him a few days to straighten things out with his family.

But as it turned out, Abdul didn’t have a few days to get this done, and in the summer of 2001, less than fourteen years after they first met, Abdul passed away. He was only 36 years old. Asima became a young widow with two children in Saudi Arabia. Son Faris was thirteen and baby daughter Jannah was only two. Abdul’s illness and tragic death was the beginning of her worst nightmare.

** You just read Part 1 of 4. Proceed to Part 2.