Meet the Cousins

Recently Tata (my MIL) and I were invited over to my sister-in-law’s home. I knew it would be “Women Only” because I was told to dress nicely and wear makeup and jewelry. When we got there I learned that it would be a gathering of Adnan’s female cousins from his mom's side of the family, which meant that Amal would be there. Amal is the one who took off every piece of jewelry she was wearing the first time I met her and gave it all to me. If you remember, this was not ordinary jewelry – this was a collection of heavy handmade silver Bedouin jewelry.

Tonight Amal’s sister, whom I hadn’t met yet, would also be coming. When the two of them finally arrived, I hugged and kissed Amal and exchanged pleasantries, and then I turned to her sister Widad and introduced myself. As I hugged her, the smell of her lovely perfumed intoxicated me. I told her, “You smell so good!” She immediately reached into her purse and pulled out a big bottle of expensive Amarige perfume and sprayed it all over me. Then she handed the huge full bottle to me and said, “It is yours!”

Ay, chihuahua! When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? I really have to watch what I say around these women! With Saudis, if you compliment them on something that is not nailed down, it is yours. Automatically. I have always complimented people all my life. I enjoy making people feel good by letting them know I like something about them or their home or whatever. So this is a very difficult habit for me to break. I first experienced Saudi generosity like this back when I first met my husband and his friends would give me anything and everything that I happened to comment on. As the years passed and all of his friends returned to their countries, I relapsed into my old habit of bestowing compliments where I felt compliments were due, without a second thought.

First we sat and talked in the elegant navy blue and gold living room. The furniture is surprisingly comfortable for being so formal looking. We were served drinks of gahwa (Arabic "coffee"), tea and fruit juices. There was also an assortment of sweets including chocolates, baklava and cookies. For most of the conversation, I just sit there smiling, or laughing when they do. I am able to pick up words here and there and sometimes figure out what the topic of conversation is. Other times I am way off base about what I think they are talking about or I have no clue whatsoever. My thoughtful SIL Baheeja will frequently break in to tell me what is being discussed so I don’t feel so left out and clueless.

Once all the guests arrived (there were about ten of us altogether), we went into the neighboring room, the formal dining room. The table and chairs are a glossy white lacquer finish. The large table can comfortably accommodate 16 people or more. There was a beautiful buffet set up along one wall of the room. It was a feast. There were so many different dishes I couldn’t even take a small serving of each item to taste as I usually like to do. My plate was so colorful and scrumptious looking I just had to run and get my camera to take a picture of it before I took one bite. The ladies all giggled at me. My SIL Baheeja then told them that I love to take pictures of everything I see - even the lavender garbage dumpsters and the attendants wearing matching lavender jumpsuits. This made them all laugh even more.

The two salad choices consisted of Tabouleh (its main ingredients are finely chopped parsley and bulghur) and a colorful macaroni salad with kidney beans, corn, garbanzo beans, and red bell pepper. One of my favorites was the lemony Stuffed Grape Leaves which were good even though they were stuffed only with spiced rice instead of a meat mixture. Whole green bell peppers and zucchinis were stuffed with a short grain rice mix spiced with lemon pepper. The Sambuseks (like a meat eggroll) were different than the way Adnan usually makes them. These had a outer dough shaped into a ball and instead of being deep fried, they were baked. Something I had never had before were the Fried Meatballs, called Gaddi al Gootha, which had a crunchy fried batter coating. The main dishes were red rice with lamb and boneless baked chicken served on a bed of Fareeq, which is a grain similar to bulghur, except the grains are much larger, plumper, and fantastically textured. This Fareeq dish was my absolute favorite dish of the evening. I love the texture as I chew on it! Absolutely everything was scrumptious!

We then adjourned to another neighboring room for coffee and dessert. This room is an even larger living room with bright burgundy crushed velvet couches. Among the desserts were cheesecake topped with strawberry jam, a wonderful crème caramel (or Flan – not quite as good as my friend Elisa’s mom used to make though!) and the chocolates, baklava, and cookies from the first part of the evening. I was stuffed from the meal so I gave myself a good hour before I waddled over to try a small taste of the cheesecake and the flan. Before the cousins left, I presented them each with a set of jewelry that I had made (matching earrings, bracelet, and necklace). They were very appreciative and gracious, tried it all on right away, and smothered me with kisses and hugs. I felt good. It was a great evening!

The following weekend Baheeja had another get together for the cousins from her dad's side of the family. I arrived at about 7:30pm, a little early but my hubby wanted to beat the busy weekend traffic. My SIL had set up a big garment rack just outside the front door with a small table holding pre-numbered papers and pins, so each arriving guest could hang up her abaya and attach a number for easy retrieval later on. My hair was still wet and my hair dryer had broken, so my SIL was happy to let me use her blow dryer at her vanity in her beautiful spacious bedroom. I've had my hair short for so many years, so growing my bangs and the rest of my hair out so I would be more comfortable wearing the hijab (scarf) has been driving me crazy and I still don't know what to do with it. Once I felt I was sufficiently gorgeous (ha!), I made my way downstairs. It was still early for the guests to arrive, so I went around doing my thang - taking photos! There were so many guests expected that Baheeja had hired 3 extra servers for the evening. Only a few of the older guests would be eating at the dining room table since it would not accommodate everyone, and the rest of us would just eat wherever.

By 9:30 pm, Baheeja declared, "They're late!" And then the guests began trickling in, until suddenly there were so many arriving at once that I thought they must have all taken the same bus! Before I knew it there were over forty women and girls of all ages, shapes and sizes in the house. As they made their entrance, the women already in the room would rise, and the newly arriving women would make the rounds, greeting, kissing, and hugging everyone there. Most of the women I had never met before, but they all seemed to know who I was even before I introduced myself. The older women were seated in the formal navy blue and gold living room, and the younger ones were herded into the plush burgundy living room. There were 3 and 4 generations of the family in attendance. Immediately the servers brought around the gahwa, tea, and chocolates. And then again. Always.

The traditional Arabic coffee drink of "Gahwa" is served in very tiny glass cups. It is not sweetened and the main ingredient is crushed cardomom. Gahwa is Arabic for coffee. Green coffee beans are used in this drink as well. To me, an American coffee drinker, Gahwa tastes nothing like coffee, or I should say the coffee that I am used to drinking. It is a greenish color and the cardomom flavor can be pretty overwheleming. I still haven't acquired a taste for it, but I politely drink my one or two small cups quickly - "Down the hatch!"

Adnan's most elderly aunt arrived last, at almost 11pm. I'm guessing she must be close to 80 years old, so I was surprised that she arrived so late, but I was later told that she eats an early dinner and goes to bed by about 7:30, and that she got up after a nap to come to Baheeja's party. When the elderly aunt arrived (she uses a cane), she sat in the closest empty chair and all the women took their turns getting up and going to her to welcome her. This was a show of great respect for the woman. Surprisingly even SHE knew who I was when I approached her to greet her.

It was about 12:30 am when we were called to eat. There was a huge buffet set up in the dining room. I was starving by this point. As usual I tried to take a little taste of everything and it was all fabulous! In no time, I was stuffed. Shortly after the meal, the ladies began departing. At least half of them invited me to their homes to visit, or to an upcoming wedding. They were all very gracious. By 2am almost everyone was gone.
During the evening, one of the younger cousins had asked me which was better: America or Arabia? I told her that it was hard to say because there were good things and bad things about both places, and that they are very different, so it would be hard to say one is better than the other, like comparing apples to oranges. Another one asked me how I liked it in Arabia so far. I didn't have to think at all about my answer. I replied that my experiences have mostly been very positive so far, and that the reason is because of Adnan's wonderful family. If it weren't for them, their graciousness, their generosity, I doubt I would have had such wonderful experiences here and such good impressions of this place. Family makes all the difference in the world.