Adam's World

First off, my apologies for being gone from blogging for the past couple of months. I had to extend my trip to the states to take care of some business. We no longer have Internet, phone service or cable at our home there - which was probably just as well since there was so much work to be done and blogging would have only distracted me. I arrived back in Arabia a couple of days ago to the open arms of my husband and my son and to the stifling and oppressive heat of Jeddah in August. Thankfully, all is well and I appreciate the concerns of those of you who may have thought something was wrong due to my lengthy absence.

I realize that, up to now, I haven't written much at all about my son, who is a typical teen. I have purposefully sidestepped around it to give him his space this past year during his adjustment period. We uprooted Adam at age 14 from the only home he had ever known, took him away from his friends, his school, his life. I feel that it has probably been a much more difficult adjustment for him than it has been for me. All in all, I feel that he has handled it like a real champ. Of course he has his moments, and if he had his druthers, his choice of where to live during his teenage years would definitely not be in Saudi Arabia. But he is making the most of it, and I can only hope that one day he will look back on this time of his life as a positive experience he is grateful for and as an opportunity that not many people get.

When we moved to Arabia last fall, Adam entered the country on a temporary Saudi passport. As the son of a Saudi man, he is granted automatic citizenship. Oddly enough, Saudi mothers do not transfer automatic citizenship to their children. My husband thought it would be easier to get him into the country this way (and indeed it was) instead of going through the visa process like I had to do, which delayed my own trip to Arabia for another month after their departure while I awaited approval.

Shortly after they arrived, my husband began the process of applying for Saudi citizenship for Adam. All the paperwork and proper documentation was turned in by November, and then we waited. And waited. And waited. And we are still waiting. Despite my hubby's efforts, nothing has sped up this process. Apparently, he was told, Adam's application has been approved and is just waiting for the signature of the prince in charge of that ministry. And he will sign it only when he is good and ready. Consequently when it came time for our trip back to the states in mid-June, Adam had to remain in Arabia. Since he had entered Saudi Arabia on a temporary Saudi passport, he couldn't very well leave the country on his US passport, since it didn't show that he had ever entered the country in the first place.

 Of course Adam was upset at first about not being able to make the trip back to the US, as was I, but he accepted it. While we were gone, he stayed at the home of one of his uncles, who made sure Adam was comfortable, pampered and kept busy. Adam composed a long wish list of items he wanted me to get him, mostly CDs and DVDs. Some of Adam's taste in music is not readily available in Arabia. When I could get to a computer, Adam and I were in touch by email (he kept adding to his wish list!) and several times we even managed to chat online. I found it amusing that several of my friends in the US, when they learned that Adam hadn't been able to travel with us, asked me if it was because the Saudi government wouldn't allow Adam to leave the country. I guess technically you could say that was the case - bureaucratic red tape -but once we get his documentation back, he will be able to come and go as he pleases. But he is not being kept there against his will or forbidden to leave, like some people might have imagined.

A few months after we arrived in Arabia, I asked Adam how he felt about things, in particular the separation of men and women in society here. Adam told me that he almost felt as if he were being punished for doing something wrong. I thought that was an interesting perspective that I hadn't even considered before. The social situation is awkward for him since he has always hung out with girls and his very best friend back in Florida is a girl. Here in Arabia, this is impossible and most of his girl cousins who are in their teens choose to cover their hair when Adam is around, although I think it is really determined by their parents. For all intents and purposes, any marriageable female is supposed to "cover" in front of any male they could possibly ever marry. This includes cousins and aunts.

My husband has spoken to Adam in Arabic since he was a baby, so Adam has a basic verbal understanding of Arabic, however he had never learned to read or write the language and he has always been shy about speaking it. So when we arrived in Arabia last fall, logic would dictate that Adam would not survive in a public Arabic speaking school. However since his dad is Saudi, we must get special governmental approval for Adam to attend an international English speaking school. This rule only applies to Saudi students, who are expected to go to Saudi schools. Adam had to be tested to prove that he cannot read or write Arabic, and then a government ministry must grant permission for Adam to go to an international school. And we must go through this process every school year. Like the citizenship process, this approval, too, takes forever. Last school year, since Adam was not granted permission to attend school until January, he missed the whole first half of the school year. Plus, he was kept back in 8th grade, which he had already completed in the states.

As you can imagine, the first few months Adam spent in Arabia were getting pretty boring for him. There were many radical changes from his old life in America that he had to adapt to. He especially missed his friends who were starting high school without him. Once he started school however, his life greatly improved. He made new friends and since he had been out of school for several months, he actually gained a new found appreciation for education which he never had before. Adam's school put him in the company of other students from all over the world. His teachers are also from all over the world, and his school really reminds us of his old school back in Florida.

With the fall term starting again in just one week, we are still awaiting the approval for him to be allowed to attend the international school again. An administrator of the school just told us that she has only received approvals for 15 students so far out of a total of 114. This whole difficult approval process thing for me makes no sense whatsoever. How could he be expected to attend an Arabic school when he doesn't read or write the language? So why give the parents such a hard time about it? It is obvious that since he was raised in America up to this point, he reads and writes in English. By not granting the permission in a timely fashion, how can keeping him out of school for months on end possibly be to his advantage? The whole situation just seems ludicrous to me. I just don't get it. We are maintaining an optimistic and positive attitude and have already paid his costly tuition for this coming term. So please keep your fingers crossed!

 Back in the states years before, we had had several bad experiences with the coaches when we tried to get Adam interested in sports, so we were all pretty much turned off by it. But in Arabia he has played a variety of sports in PE class and, much to his delight, found that he was actually quite athletic. He even joined the school rugby team with determination, dedication and enthusiasm. As a result, he has lost any remaining baby fat of his youth and has developed into a sturdy young man, almost as tall as his dad. He has to shave regularly and it looks like he will eventually be as hairy as his dad too.

We were very pleased with his last report card of the school year with 5 A's and 3 B's. After all the upheaval in his life during the past year, Adam has adapted remarkably well and we are so proud of him. He now has a maturity he did not possess before and he is a pleasure to be around and hang out with. He has a dramatic flair and is quite adept at doing impressive foreign accents and different voices. And he's funny, constantly making me laugh. He is also a gifted writer and graphic artist and loves music of all kinds. I'm sure whatever he decides to do with his life, he will be successful and accomplished. What more could a parent ask for?

(All photos and graphic art in this post by my son Adam.)