All of you have moved at one point or another in your lives, so you know what I have been going through these past few weeks. It is such a huge undertaking dismantling a home after 14 years of living in it and pretty overwhelming. Since we will be taking very few items with us to our new home in Jeddah, I am faced with what to get rid of, what is most sentimental to me, and what I feel I can't live without that I may not be able to acquire in Arabia. Adnan tells me that everything that we need should be available over there, so I am taking his word for it.
Looking through all of our belongings, it is easy to see what I value the most. Photos would have to be on top of my list. And since photography is one of my passions, I have TONS of photos. I realize I won't be able to take ALL the photos with us, so I am having to sort through them carefully. I have been busy making sure I have the last few years photos on CDs, which will be much easier to take with me. The rest will remain in the States boxed up.
Also at the top of my list is movies, however strict censorship is alive and well in Arabia. Adnan has told me to be careful in this area because if the movie has bad language, is sexy or immoral or indecent, it will not be allowed into the country. By the way, there are no movie theaters in Arabia. This will be an adjustment for both Adam and me as we are both big movie buffs. We will be able to have satellite TV though, so hopefully we will be able to still see our movies on TV - maybe not as soon as they come out, but... well, we'll just have to see how that goes. Hmmm...I wonder what TV shows we will be able to view there as well.
Books would also have to be near the top of my list. This presents a problem because of the amount of space that books take up and their weight and also because of the censorship. I have so many books on painting and I know I can't possibly take them all with me. Adnan has his books too. We really have some weeding through to do. Plus there are my old school yearbooks and Adam's too.
And then of course there are my paints and all the equipment that goes with it. I know I can purchase painting supplies over in Arabia, but I just hate to part with all of it.
We had planned on selling the house before we leave, but now we have decided that since the market is slow right now, we will wait. A close friend will live in the house for the next year or so, take care of it and make the payments. This will leave our options open too, just in case. Plus it lifted the enormous pressure off of us to get the house sold in a slow market. We can feel comfortable leaving some things in the house, instead of feeling like everything must be disposed of. We did have the entire kitchen redone recently, had a new garage door installed, and we have been painting and fixing things up around the house so it is in tip top shape when we leave. Hopefully in a year or two the market will have picked up again and we will sell the house then.
When we made the decision to move out of the U.S. a few months ago, I had shared this news with only my family and very few of my friends and co-workers. When I decided that the time had come to inform all my other friends and acquaintances, I released the first edition of my blog. So far the reaction to the news of our moving to Saudi Arabia has been overwhelmingly positive. Many friends have reacted with almost as much enthusiasm as I have for our adventure. Some have expressed excitement, mixed with a little apprehension and maybe even a little fear. Others have been very supportive, while some have been so shocked that they are literally speechless. I have also been pleasantly surprised at the number of like-spirited souls who have even asked about the possibility of coming over to visit us once we get settled. Everyone I have heard from, except for one, has graciously wished us their best. Some people I have yet to hear from. And then there have been a few who have just blurted out, "ARE YOU CRAZY?"
I don't know...is it crazy to follow the man I love half way around the world to experience his culture and be accepted into his family? I realize I don't speak the language and my lifestyle will drastically change from what I am used to. But I think most people have misconceptions and are misinformed and uneducated about what Saudi Arabia is really like and what its people are really like, too. There is a fear of the unknown that a lot of people have of the Middle East. I doubt that anyone who asked if I am crazy has ever had a friend or known anyone personally from the Middle East. The people are warm, friendly, honest, decent, sincere, and have very high morals. Contrary to the propaganda Americans have been fed by the right wing news media, Moslems do not hate Americans and our freedom. They simply do not like our foreign policies, and frankly, neither do I. So, if anyone wants to call me crazy, go ahead. I am not afraid of change or new experiences in my life.
In fact, there are many changes that I look forward to in Arabia. I look forward to a simpler life with far less stress. I look forward to living in a place where modesty is required and vulgarity is forbidden, where children can be children and they are not exposed to adult issues and behaviors too early in life. I anticipate being treated with courtesy and respect by others - I guess I have lived in South Florida too long where it is normal for salespeople to treat customers rudely, indifferently, or just simply ignore them! It was definitely culture shock when I made the move from Arizona to South Florida 14 years ago. I knew I would never get used to how I was treated in stores or while driving on the roads. Don't get me wrong - I have managed to make some wonderful friends here and I will miss them immensely, but I can't imagine myself missing South Florida itself.
Getting back to the one person who chose not to wish us well in our new life: I have been friends with his wife for about 25 years. His wife and I used to work together back in Tucson and we were also roommates for a time as well - long before she ever met her future husband. During my visits back to Arizona since our move to Florida, I have always made the effort to see her. However it has always been disappointing for me because as soon as I drive up, her husband suddenly appears, and he completely dominates the conversation. I have always thought he was an obnoxious, pompous ass. My girlfriend has seemingly become a distant shadow of the person she used to be since she met this man and barely even speaks anymore when he is around. He also has polar opposite political views than I and is intolerant of people who disagree with him. This is the exact verbatim email response that I received from him:
"Please remove me from your list. I have very strong feelings that need not be discussed with you. I will inform A****** (his wife) of your decision. Please don't write anymore, I don't want to have my e-mail associated with you or Adnan."
My impression is that he is living in fear of Big Brother watching his every move and that he feels Adnan and I are traitors to this country, maybe even terrorists ourselves. But he had neither the decency nor the grace to at least wish us well in our new venture.
I know that not all of my friends agree with my political views. But isn't that what our country is all about? We have the right - and the duty - to question things we don't agree with. I must admit that I am extremely disappointed in this country right now. I feel that we have lost many of the freedoms we have always had and have taken for granted for far too long. I also feel that the current administration has driven this country down a road that is very treacherous and harmful to many of its citizens. And our children will have to be paying for the mistakes of this administration's policies for many years to come.
We think we have freedom here, but do we really? We are forced by law to pay for things like insurance, for example. Is this freedom? Just try making a claim - the insurance companies gladly accept your premiums and keep getting richer and richer, but when it comes time for them to settle your claim, they try every way they know how to get out of paying you. And then they raise your premiums or cancel your policy. Have you ever sat down and figured out how much you have actually paid in over the years for health insurance? We figured ours out the other day, and Adnan has paid in over $250,000 in 14 years. Our claims have - at the most - come to maybe $20,000 in all those years. There is something really wrong here. Add your premiums up - you will be astounded.
Anyway, my family and I have reservations to depart on August 30. As of today, less than two weeks away, I still have not been issued my documentation to enter Saudi Arabia. It is looking like Adnan and Adam may have to go on ahead without me and I will remain in the U.S. until my paperwork is approved. I am disappointed that I may not get to travel over there with them. I am so anxious to go - I can hardly wait! Until next time....
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
The Final Decision
Our decision to pick up and move to Saudi Arabia - my husband's homeland - was not made hastily or without debate. Rather, it has been years in the making. There are numerous reasons for our decision. Honestly, us moving to Arabia was something I never thought would happen! But after thirty years here in the U.S., my husband's wish is to return home. He has come to realize that all those ideological reasons for why he left Arabia in the first place maybe weren't so bad after all. And that the once-upon-a-time fairy-tale world of the United States of America - "land of the free, home of the brave" - just really doesn't exist anymore and has its own fair share of major flaws, like dirty politics, corrupt government, rampant crime, and a morally bankrupt society.
Adnan came to America as a college student. It was 1977. We met within the first couple of weeks after his arrival. For me, it was love at first sight. He had a huge afro, strong broad shoulders, a crop of chest hair peek-a-booing out from the collar of his shirt, bell bottom jeans, and dark, mysterious - yet twinkling - eyes. Physical attraction aside, I fell for the person inside. He was warm, strong, intelligent, honest, funny, thoughtful, and romantic. He treated me with respect and consideration, and he always made me laugh. He wrote poems for me! My family was fond of him too. For me, he was "the one."
There was just one little kink...from the start, Adnan had been totally up front and honest with me about returning to Arabia to live his life after he finished school. So I never allowed myself to dream of a future with him in it. But I knew he was the love of my life, and I felt that whatever time we did have together while he was in America would be better spent with him than without him. So we lived every day, every week, every month, in the moment. Those weeks and months turned into years, and all the while, he was working on his Ph.D at the university. Finally, at the end of 1989, he was awarded his degree. He went back to Arabia and tried for a year to secure a job in his field. He kept in touch with me, and during a visit back to the U.S. that next summer, he asked me to marry him.
It took over twelve years for him to commit to me, but he finally did. Partly due to his disenchantment with the government in his homeland, partly because he was unable to secure a job in Arabia (after the government paid for his schooling here in the States for a dozen years), and - I like to think - partly because he realized that he just couldn't live his life without me in it, we wed in 1990. He eventually was offered a teaching position with a college in South Florida.
We have been in South Florida since 1993. It's really the only home my son has ever known - we moved here when he was just a baby.
Living on a teacher's salary and with me only working part-time, we have struggled financially. A recent failed business venture with my ex-best friend left us in debt like never before. The hurricane season of 2005 caused our homeowner's insurance premium to skyrocket. And now with gas prices at an all-time high, it only makes financial sense for us to move to Saudi Arabia. Imagine a land where there are no taxes to pay and no insurance premiums. There, we will live in a much larger home (it has 4 bathrooms!) than we have in Florida, rent free! (courtesy of my husband's mom.) Just the thought of not having a mortgage any more delights me. My husband feels that within five years, we will be set financially, something that is an impossibility if we continue to stay in the States.
Financial reasons aside, the state of American politics is also another factor in our decision to make the move to Arabia. We both feel that most Americans have been getting the short end of the stick since Bush stole the presidency in 2000. I haven't felt good about the way things have been going here and I hate the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that gets worse, it seems, each month. We don't agree with our government's foreign policies, lack of commitment to the working class, ever-rising costs for insurance, medical care, etc. We have reached a point where we feel we will never be able to get ahead. The rich keep getting richer, and the poor keep getting crapped on. I could go on and on, but I will refrain for now... but you understand the gist of what I am saying, don't you? And whether you agree with me or not, this is how we feel and it is a major reason for our decision to leave America.
Now hold on, I know what you are all thinking - does Susie really know what she is getting herself into? Hasn't she seen that movie "Not Without my Daughter"? It's going to be such a big culture shock for a free-spirited American woman! Why, women are treated as second class citizens there and have no rights!
Let me just say that I appreciate your concern and understand your apprehension. I am fully aware of what to expect. Yes, I know that I will not be allowed to drive. I will not have a "job" there. Women are very limited in work they are allowed to do, plus I do not speak Arabic, so that limits my job prospects even further. Men and women in Arabia are not allowed to mix socially or in business. I have many hobbies that I will be able to pursue, like painting, photography, and, of course, writing. I will cover my hair with a hijab and will have to dress modestly whenever I go out. And when I do go out, I must be accompanied by my husband. Besides religion, family life is the most important thing in Arabian society. I already know most of my husband's immediate family. I can also tell you that in my experience, there are very few Arabian women who would want to trade places with any American woman. They are very happy and fulfilled in their lives and are very well appreciated and taken care of.
I look forward to getting to know my husband's family better and experiencing the closeness of family. I am glad that my son will finally be able to get to know his aunts and uncles and cousins that he has never even met, that he will become fluent in Arabic, and that he will be able to learn firsthand about the faraway and exotic land his father came from. For the past 14 years we have been here in Florida, far away from my family, and it has been difficult. My daughter is in Arizona, my mom and two brothers in the Seattle area, and my two other brothers in Utah and Indiana. I have hated that our family is so spread out. For us all to get together for a reunion every few years is a major undertaking.
My husband has given it his best shot here for thirty years. He is ready to go home. My place, as his wife, is with my husband. He has been a good provider, a good father, and a good husband. I am up for the challenge and I am - and always have been - very flexible. I really and truly believe that this will be a good move for our family. And who knows? Maybe this will turn out to be just another case of "the grass is always greener on the other side." Maybe we will come to appreciate the USA again, from afar. But we will never know unless we try, will we? All I know is that I am ready for a change - and what a change this will be!
I plan to document our move, planned for late summer 2007, and our new life in Arabia here in this blog. So stay tuned for future installments of "Susie's Big Adventure!" And I hope you will wish us the best and keep us in your prayers.
Adnan came to America as a college student. It was 1977. We met within the first couple of weeks after his arrival. For me, it was love at first sight. He had a huge afro, strong broad shoulders, a crop of chest hair peek-a-booing out from the collar of his shirt, bell bottom jeans, and dark, mysterious - yet twinkling - eyes. Physical attraction aside, I fell for the person inside. He was warm, strong, intelligent, honest, funny, thoughtful, and romantic. He treated me with respect and consideration, and he always made me laugh. He wrote poems for me! My family was fond of him too. For me, he was "the one."
There was just one little kink...from the start, Adnan had been totally up front and honest with me about returning to Arabia to live his life after he finished school. So I never allowed myself to dream of a future with him in it. But I knew he was the love of my life, and I felt that whatever time we did have together while he was in America would be better spent with him than without him. So we lived every day, every week, every month, in the moment. Those weeks and months turned into years, and all the while, he was working on his Ph.D at the university. Finally, at the end of 1989, he was awarded his degree. He went back to Arabia and tried for a year to secure a job in his field. He kept in touch with me, and during a visit back to the U.S. that next summer, he asked me to marry him.
It took over twelve years for him to commit to me, but he finally did. Partly due to his disenchantment with the government in his homeland, partly because he was unable to secure a job in Arabia (after the government paid for his schooling here in the States for a dozen years), and - I like to think - partly because he realized that he just couldn't live his life without me in it, we wed in 1990. He eventually was offered a teaching position with a college in South Florida.
We have been in South Florida since 1993. It's really the only home my son has ever known - we moved here when he was just a baby.
Living on a teacher's salary and with me only working part-time, we have struggled financially. A recent failed business venture with my ex-best friend left us in debt like never before. The hurricane season of 2005 caused our homeowner's insurance premium to skyrocket. And now with gas prices at an all-time high, it only makes financial sense for us to move to Saudi Arabia. Imagine a land where there are no taxes to pay and no insurance premiums. There, we will live in a much larger home (it has 4 bathrooms!) than we have in Florida, rent free! (courtesy of my husband's mom.) Just the thought of not having a mortgage any more delights me. My husband feels that within five years, we will be set financially, something that is an impossibility if we continue to stay in the States.
Financial reasons aside, the state of American politics is also another factor in our decision to make the move to Arabia. We both feel that most Americans have been getting the short end of the stick since Bush stole the presidency in 2000. I haven't felt good about the way things have been going here and I hate the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that gets worse, it seems, each month. We don't agree with our government's foreign policies, lack of commitment to the working class, ever-rising costs for insurance, medical care, etc. We have reached a point where we feel we will never be able to get ahead. The rich keep getting richer, and the poor keep getting crapped on. I could go on and on, but I will refrain for now... but you understand the gist of what I am saying, don't you? And whether you agree with me or not, this is how we feel and it is a major reason for our decision to leave America.
Now hold on, I know what you are all thinking - does Susie really know what she is getting herself into? Hasn't she seen that movie "Not Without my Daughter"? It's going to be such a big culture shock for a free-spirited American woman! Why, women are treated as second class citizens there and have no rights!
Let me just say that I appreciate your concern and understand your apprehension. I am fully aware of what to expect. Yes, I know that I will not be allowed to drive. I will not have a "job" there. Women are very limited in work they are allowed to do, plus I do not speak Arabic, so that limits my job prospects even further. Men and women in Arabia are not allowed to mix socially or in business. I have many hobbies that I will be able to pursue, like painting, photography, and, of course, writing. I will cover my hair with a hijab and will have to dress modestly whenever I go out. And when I do go out, I must be accompanied by my husband. Besides religion, family life is the most important thing in Arabian society. I already know most of my husband's immediate family. I can also tell you that in my experience, there are very few Arabian women who would want to trade places with any American woman. They are very happy and fulfilled in their lives and are very well appreciated and taken care of.
I look forward to getting to know my husband's family better and experiencing the closeness of family. I am glad that my son will finally be able to get to know his aunts and uncles and cousins that he has never even met, that he will become fluent in Arabic, and that he will be able to learn firsthand about the faraway and exotic land his father came from. For the past 14 years we have been here in Florida, far away from my family, and it has been difficult. My daughter is in Arizona, my mom and two brothers in the Seattle area, and my two other brothers in Utah and Indiana. I have hated that our family is so spread out. For us all to get together for a reunion every few years is a major undertaking.
My husband has given it his best shot here for thirty years. He is ready to go home. My place, as his wife, is with my husband. He has been a good provider, a good father, and a good husband. I am up for the challenge and I am - and always have been - very flexible. I really and truly believe that this will be a good move for our family. And who knows? Maybe this will turn out to be just another case of "the grass is always greener on the other side." Maybe we will come to appreciate the USA again, from afar. But we will never know unless we try, will we? All I know is that I am ready for a change - and what a change this will be!
I plan to document our move, planned for late summer 2007, and our new life in Arabia here in this blog. So stay tuned for future installments of "Susie's Big Adventure!" And I hope you will wish us the best and keep us in your prayers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)