Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Florida. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

In Paradise


I t seems the older I get, the less tolerant of heat I am. And as BAD luck would have it, I have managed to live in one hot place after another all my life. I grew up in the dry heat of Arizona and lived there mostly until I was 40, and suffered through chapped lips, cracked heels, bloody noses, and extremely dry skin. Then we moved to hot and humid South Florida, experiencing several summers when we lost power - meaning no air conditioning - often for weeks during hurricane season. My menopausal hot flashes were always embarrassing, always no fun and lasted for more than ten long years while I lived there. I could take a shower and step outside and in minutes, I felt as though I needed another shower again. My undergarments would always be soaking wet from sweat - yuk! And now I find myself living in one of the hottest places on the planet, Saudi Arabia! It is so hot there that most women simply just do not go outside unless they absolutely have to. Of course having to don a long black cloak over your regular clothes in 116 degree heat, plus having to cover your hair and neck as well, tends to make the women there even hotter - at least it does me!


I feel doomed to live in hot places all my life.

Now everyone has their own idea of what paradise means to them. Many people think of heaven as paradise, but I'm not talking about heaven. Here on earth, my idea of paradise is a place with cooler weather and plentiful rain, lots of green trees and colorful flowers and friendly people, and near a body of water. I arrived in paradise yesterday. I have been here many times to visit family and I always have felt a sense of belonging whenever I come here. I am now in the state of Washington in the Seattle area, and this part of the country is my idea of paradise.

The weather forecast here for the coming week predicts not one day over 76 degrees. The lows will be hovering in the mid-50s. And this is July! I just spent a week in Florida, where the temperatures usually don't reach 100, but guess what? The week I was there, they had record heat, over 100 degrees! It was brutal. And then I was in Arizona for about ten days, and Arizona is nothing BUT hot in the summertime. And of course I had to be there during the monsoon season, which means that the swamp coolers in many Arizona homes (different from air conditioning) don't really function well in the humidity, and it's hard to cool down.

So to arrive here yesterday to a cool 60 degrees - well, it just feels like heaven to me. I love sleeping with the window open and feeling cold enough that I can snuggle under a blanket at night. I love being outside in the summertime and not sweating like a pig. I love this cooler weather!

The photos in this post were all taken at my brother's home in the Seattle area where I am staying. There are wild deer and raccoons that visit the grounds frequently looking for food. The dahlias are among the most beautiful flowers I have ever seen. And the view is undeniably spectacular! See why I feel like I am in paradise?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Reverse Culture Shock? Nah!


S ome of you may know that I am traveling in the states now. I arrived almost two weeks ago with my son Captain Kabob. He wasn't able to travel with me last summer when I traveled to the states for my first trip back home since moving to KSA, so he had been gone from the states for about two long years. We set foot on US soil at JFK Airport in New York. The temperature was a cool 60 degrees and it was raining. Both of us reveled in the chilly air and moisture - something we have both missed tremendously living in Saudi Arabia. When we arrived in Florida, a group of my son's friends greeted him at the airport, holding up signs and screaming when they saw him. It made him feel like a rock star! I rented a car, and felt a tad nervous when I first backed up out of the parking space, but I was fine after that. I hadn't been behind the wheel for almost a whole year. Women are not allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia.


During my week in Florida, we went to the movies - there are no movie theaters in Saudi Arabia and this is one thing that my son and I have missed the most. I have visited with various friends, went malling, and ate at a few restaurants. The fast food restaurant that Captain Kabob had missed the most was Taco Bell, so of course we ate there. I really didn't have enough time to do everything that I had hoped to do and feel like I could have used another whole week there, but my time did not permit it.

Right now I'm in Arizona. Dear friends have hosted a couple of parties for me, enabling me to see more people at once, instead of me having to go around visiting people individually. I was thrilled to meet three fellow bloggers who came to one of the parties and also to see several old friends I hadn't seen in decades. I've also been able to spend time with my daughter and my two grandkids. Although the temperatures have been extremely hot, I am thankful that I do not have to wear the black abaya or cover my neck and hair here.

I have been waited on by females working in restaurants and in the malls - these positions are only filled by men in Saudi Arabia. There hasn't been any need to plan shopping excursions around prayer times. I have spoken with ease with men I'm not related to - I'm not supposed to have contact with men I'm not related to in KSA. I have totally enjoyed being able to get into my rental car and drive myself to wherever I need to go without having to ask my husband to drive me. I have pumped my own gas, something men don't even do in Saudi Arabia because there are gas station attendants to do it for them. I have gone places by myself and loved every minute of it.

Before I left on this trip, some people expressed that I might feel some reverse culture shock being back in the states, but I haven't felt anything like that. Seeing people dressed in shorts and sleeveless tops in this hot weather doesn't shock me or make me feel wierd. To me, it seems a more sensible way to dress in the brutal heat. Driving feels pretty natural to me and so does being able to go out on my own. Maybe because I've only been living in Saudi Arabia for just two years, I'm not feeling the reverse culture shock yet. What I am feeling is renewed joy at the simple freedoms I used to take for granted. Somehow I don't think reverse culture shock will happen to me though even if I give it a few more years...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Countdown

All of you have moved at one point or another in your lives, so you know what I have been going through these past few weeks. It is such a huge undertaking dismantling a home after 14 years of living in it and pretty overwhelming. Since we will be taking very few items with us to our new home in Jeddah, I am faced with what to get rid of, what is most sentimental to me, and what I feel I can't live without that I may not be able to acquire in Arabia. Adnan tells me that everything that we need should be available over there, so I am taking his word for it.

Looking through all of our belongings, it is easy to see what I value the most. Photos would have to be on top of my list. And since photography is one of my passions, I have TONS of photos. I realize I won't be able to take ALL the photos with us, so I am having to sort through them carefully. I have been busy making sure I have the last few years photos on CDs, which will be much easier to take with me. The rest will remain in the States boxed up.

Also at the top of my list is movies, however strict censorship is alive and well in Arabia. Adnan has told me to be careful in this area because if the movie has bad language, is sexy or immoral or indecent, it will not be allowed into the country. By the way, there are no movie theaters in Arabia. This will be an adjustment for both Adam and me as we are both big movie buffs. We will be able to have satellite TV though, so hopefully we will be able to still see our movies on TV - maybe not as soon as they come out, but... well, we'll just have to see how that goes. Hmmm...I wonder what TV shows we will be able to view there as well.

Books would also have to be near the top of my list. This presents a problem because of the amount of space that books take up and their weight and also because of the censorship. I have so many books on painting and I know I can't possibly take them all with me. Adnan has his books too. We really have some weeding through to do. Plus there are my old school yearbooks and Adam's too.

And then of course there are my paints and all the equipment that goes with it. I know I can purchase painting supplies over in Arabia, but I just hate to part with all of it.

We had planned on selling the house before we leave, but now we have decided that since the market is slow right now, we will wait. A close friend will live in the house for the next year or so, take care of it and make the payments. This will leave our options open too, just in case. Plus it lifted the enormous pressure off of us to get the house sold in a slow market. We can feel comfortable leaving some things in the house, instead of feeling like everything must be disposed of. We did have the entire kitchen redone recently, had a new garage door installed, and we have been painting and fixing things up around the house so it is in tip top shape when we leave. Hopefully in a year or two the market will have picked up again and we will sell the house then.

When we made the decision to move out of the U.S. a few months ago, I had shared this news with only my family and very few of my friends and co-workers. When I decided that the time had come to inform all my other friends and acquaintances, I released the first edition of my blog. So far the reaction to the news of our moving to Saudi Arabia has been overwhelmingly positive. Many friends have reacted with almost as much enthusiasm as I have for our adventure. Some have expressed excitement, mixed with a little apprehension and maybe even a little fear. Others have been very supportive, while some have been so shocked that they are literally speechless. I have also been pleasantly surprised at the number of like-spirited souls who have even asked about the possibility of coming over to visit us once we get settled. Everyone I have heard from, except for one, has graciously wished us their best. Some people I have yet to hear from. And then there have been a few who have just blurted out, "ARE YOU CRAZY?"

I don't know...is it crazy to follow the man I love half way around the world to experience his culture and be accepted into his family? I realize I don't speak the language and my lifestyle will drastically change from what I am used to. But I think most people have misconceptions and are misinformed and uneducated about what Saudi Arabia is really like and what its people are really like, too. There is a fear of the unknown that a lot of people have of the Middle East. I doubt that anyone who asked if I am crazy has ever had a friend or known anyone personally from the Middle East. The people are warm, friendly, honest, decent, sincere, and have very high morals. Contrary to the propaganda Americans have been fed by the right wing news media, Moslems do not hate Americans and our freedom. They simply do not like our foreign policies, and frankly, neither do I. So, if anyone wants to call me crazy, go ahead. I am not afraid of change or new experiences in my life.

In fact, there are many changes that I look forward to in Arabia. I look forward to a simpler life with far less stress. I look forward to living in a place where modesty is required and vulgarity is forbidden, where children can be children and they are not exposed to adult issues and behaviors too early in life. I anticipate being treated with courtesy and respect by others - I guess I have lived in South Florida too long where it is normal for salespeople to treat customers rudely, indifferently, or just simply ignore them! It was definitely culture shock when I made the move from Arizona to South Florida 14 years ago. I knew I would never get used to how I was treated in stores or while driving on the roads. Don't get me wrong - I have managed to make some wonderful friends here and I will miss them immensely, but I can't imagine myself missing South Florida itself.

Getting back to the one person who chose not to wish us well in our new life: I have been friends with his wife for about 25 years. His wife and I used to work together back in Tucson and we were also roommates for a time as well - long before she ever met her future husband. During my visits back to Arizona since our move to Florida, I have always made the effort to see her. However it has always been disappointing for me because as soon as I drive up, her husband suddenly appears, and he completely dominates the conversation. I have always thought he was an obnoxious, pompous ass. My girlfriend has seemingly become a distant shadow of the person she used to be since she met this man and barely even speaks anymore when he is around. He also has polar opposite political views than I and is intolerant of people who disagree with him. This is the exact verbatim email response that I received from him:

"Please remove me from your list. I have very strong feelings that need not be discussed with you. I will inform A****** (his wife) of your decision. Please don't write anymore, I don't want to have my e-mail associated with you or Adnan."

My impression is that he is living in fear of Big Brother watching his every move and that he feels Adnan and I are traitors to this country, maybe even terrorists ourselves. But he had neither the decency nor the grace to at least wish us well in our new venture.

I know that not all of my friends agree with my political views. But isn't that what our country is all about? We have the right - and the duty - to question things we don't agree with. I must admit that I am extremely disappointed in this country right now. I feel that we have lost many of the freedoms we have always had and have taken for granted for far too long. I also feel that the current administration has driven this country down a road that is very treacherous and harmful to many of its citizens. And our children will have to be paying for the mistakes of this administration's policies for many years to come.

We think we have freedom here, but do we really? We are forced by law to pay for things like insurance, for example. Is this freedom? Just try making a claim - the insurance companies gladly accept your premiums and keep getting richer and richer, but when it comes time for them to settle your claim, they try every way they know how to get out of paying you. And then they raise your premiums or cancel your policy. Have you ever sat down and figured out how much you have actually paid in over the years for health insurance? We figured ours out the other day, and Adnan has paid in over $250,000 in 14 years. Our claims have - at the most - come to maybe $20,000 in all those years. There is something really wrong here. Add your premiums up - you will be astounded.

Anyway, my family and I have reservations to depart on August 30. As of today, less than two weeks away, I still have not been issued my documentation to enter Saudi Arabia. It is looking like Adnan and Adam may have to go on ahead without me and I will remain in the U.S. until my paperwork is approved. I am disappointed that I may not get to travel over there with them. I am so anxious to go - I can hardly wait! Until next time....