Camels & Tents

The drive out to Adnan's sister Baheeja’s country home north of Jeddah is mostly dry brown desert all along the way. It is only maybe a 30 minute car ride to get there taking the Madinah Highway. The Sierra Mountain range is visible off in the distance. There are walled villas sprinkled randomly here and there, but in general, the area is fairly remote and sparsely populated.

Several camel corrals or depots are located off the freeway. During one of our drives out there, Adnan delighted me by pulling off the road so I could take closer pictures of the camels. There must have been over 100 camels in each of the lots we saw, including many nursing baby camels. I was thrilled to be able to get out of the car and take pictures of these beasts. A rickety barbed wire fence contained the animals and several camel herders attended each lot. Adnan told me he thought the dark skinned camel herders were Sudanese.

The one-humped dromedary camel is native to Saudi Arabia. There are no two-humped camels here. The camels ranged in color from white to all shades of tan to dark brown. Adnan told me that the white camels are more rare and therefore are more expensive. These camels are available for purchase for their meat, or one can just purchase the fresh camel milk. A full grown camel costs between $750-1,000 US. Adam and I had previously seen camel meat for sale in the meat department of a supermarket. It looks like a very big lean pot roast, but with absolutely no fat. Adnan's mom has prepared dishes for us using camel meat. It's actually pretty good and tastes like lamb, which is the most preferred meat here in Arabia.

Many of the nursing mothers were equipped with a contraption made out of canvas – similar to a bra - to keep the babies from nursing constantly. The purpose of these bras is so that more camel milk is available for sale. Adnan asked one of the guys there to get us some milk, so we watched as three guys milked the camel right in front of us. They had to displace the bra-like contraption and tried to keep the persistent nursing baby away - with great difficulty -while they milked the mommy camel. Squirted into large stainless steel bowls, the milk was bright white and very frothy on top. At a makeshift worktable out in the open air, the milk was then transferred into a large plastic bag and sealed. We got about a gallon of fresh warm camel’s milk for 20 Saudi Riyals, which is about $5 US.

As we continued on our journey, just down the road we could see dozens of tents along the way. There were people actually living in these tents in the middle of the desert. Nowadays, there are not that many Bedouins - gypsies of the desert - actually living in the desert anymore. Many of them have settled in the cities. Seeing these tents struck me as funny because many of the tents had cars parked beside them.

When we arrived at Baheeja's villa about 10 minutes later, Adnan poured me a small shot glass of the still-warm camel's milk. It tasted very much like extremely rich cow's milk. It may be that I have been drinking skim milk for so long that the camel's milk seemed really rich to me. Adnan enjoyed some in his hot tea and Adnan's mom made some custard with it, and it was pretty darn good!
I know people have their own preconceived notions about Arabs living in tents and riding around on camels, and sure, it still exists in areas, but it is just not that common any more. Yes, there are historic older sections with ancient buildings, and there is a small percentage of Bedouins who do still live in tents and perhaps wander the desert. And you can see camel herders, and the men and women here dress traditionally, much the same as they have for centuries.

The reality is that Saudi Arabia is a very modern country with very new and very modern areas that are really quite lovely, and its people are more educated and more civilized than a lot of the rest of the world believes.

My 1st Saudi Wedding

I recently went to my first Saudi wedding. The biggest difference between Saudi weddings and American weddings is that men and women celebrate separately. In fact, the men's event can be scheduled on a totally different evening than the women's. So actually, for this wedding that I attended, there were two women's events. The first week on a Wednesday night - Wednesday in Arabia is like Friday in the States, since weekend days here are Thursday and Friday - there was a big party that was held a week before the actual wedding. You might think of this party as something like a bridal shower. It was held at the exquisite villa of the bride's family. The men's party that night was held at a nearby cafe. When I arrived at about 9pm, only a few women were there, but gradually more and more women kept arriving. I would estimate that eventually, by evening's end, there were at least 120 women in attendance.

The event was held in an enormous living room of the home. Beautiful couches and chairs had been set up all along three walls of the room, and there was enough seating for all the guests.

The bride had chosen brilliant turquoise blue and silver as her color scheme for the evening. In the center of the room, mirrors had been laid down on the floor with strings of tiny white Christmas lights over the mirror. Over this were layers of sheer turquoise netting. All around this area were huge shiny silver urns that reflected the lights and the blue turquoise color. The effect was that there was a pool of water in the middle of the room! Behind this area and along the wall, was a beautiful white couch - a throne, if you will - adorned with cushy turquoise blue pillows, where the bride would later sit and receive her well wishers. From the ceiling above the throne hung a flowing canopy of the turquoise blue netting with twinkling white lights. There were also beautiful floral arrangements on either side of her throne.

I munched on nuts and dates, and we were served buttermilk to drink. I was told it is traditional to serve buttermilk (not my favorite). A woman had been hired for the evening to apply henna tattoos to any guest who wanted it. I got my right hand done. I had never had it done before, so for those of you who haven't either, I will explain the process. The woman had the henna in a squeezable tube similar to a large tube of toothpaste. There was a small hole in the end of the tube where the henna came out. The henna itself looked like a deep brown gel. She applied the henna in floral designs onto my fingers and the top of my hand, doing it all freehand and taking about five minutes. I was very careful not to smear or rub it during the thirty minutes that it took for the henna to completely dry. While it was drying, my hand got freezing cold. I was told that the coldness is a normal reaction. When the henna was dry, I could just peel it off and the design remained, having stained my skin. The henna design lasted maybe three weeks or so.

Aside from the henna, nothing much really happened the first few hours, except small talk and meeting and greeting, until midnight, when the bride finally made her appearance. The Arabian music that had been playing on the stereo system was silenced, and then I heard drum beats, singing and chanting. Off toward the main entrance, I could see a band of about five African women, playing various drums and flutes and kazoos. Everyone began clapping along to the beat. Many of the guests began the trilling, called "ghatarif," which women in the Middle East do on happy occasions, where they make a a high pitch "ooooooh" sound while moving their tongues back and forth really fast. I can't do it right yet, but I'm working on it. It's a lot more ladylike than whistling, which I can do really well, but is better suited for a ballgame!

Then at the top of the stairs, I noticed that something was going on. The bride was up there, seated in a "hodujh" - one of those little curtained carriages that sits on top of a camel or elephant, or that slaves would hand carry Indian princesses in. The hodujh was made of shiny bright silver metal with intricate designs all over it. I remember seeing them in the movies and cartoons when I was little and thinking how totally exotic that would be to ride in one. The hodujh - with the bride in it - was being supported by four women dressed in matching Aladdin-style outfits - white blouses and white genie pants, turquoise bolero vests, and turquoise fez type hats on their heads with flowing turquoise netting. The crowd roared when the bride's procession almost fell several times as they slowly descended the stairs. All the while, they were swaying, chanting, dancing, singing, and trilling. Once they set the bride down safely, the troupe sang and danced for a while, while the musical group drummed and played along with them. It was enchanting, to say the least. These women were all hired for the event - they come in, decorate in the theme you have chosen, and put on a show. This particular wedding party I attended was a Moroccan theme.

When the bride dismounted the hodujh, she seemingly floated over to sit on her throne. It was a magical sight, with the throne area and the effect of a beautiful twinkling lake in the middle of the living room floor. The bride, about 22 years old or so, looked like a princess in a beautiful cream colored ball gown, her long black hair flowing down her back and shoulders in soft curls.


The dresses that the women guests wore were amazing. Everyone arrives wearing the black abayas (robes) and the black hijabs (head coverings), but underneath are these beautiful exquisite gowns and jewelry and heels. They get all dolled up with the clothes, the shoes, the hair, and the makeup, for other women to see them. One woman with long black hair was wearing a flowing white chiffon gown that had dozens of actual peacock feathers placed all over it. The younger women (teenagers) wore more trendy outfits - I was actually kinda surprised that their mothers allowed them out of the house wearing some of the figure hugging outfits I saw, with very short hemlines and plunging necklines.


The food wasn't served until after 1am. But it was a feast well worth the wait! There was shrimp, several chicken and beef dishes, shish kabob, and choices of different rice dishes, egg rolls, vegetables, hummus, salads, and more, plus amazing beautiful desserts. It was all served buffet style in a large dining room.


I was wondering when my abaya and hijab were taken from me as I arrived, how difficult it was going to be to find my things, since everyone wears black abayas and hijabs. The hostesses simply wrapped a strap of masking tape around both pieces belonging to me and wrote my name on it. It made it really easy to find. We left at about 2:30am and the party was still going strong.


All the women there were really nice to me. Many of them went out of their way to make me feel welcome and comfortable. So many people here speak some English that it has made it much easier for me socially than I had anticipated.


One week later was the actual "wedding." This time I arrived at the site at 11pm. I was one of the first guests to arrive. There are many really fancy places in Arabia that are specifically designed to rent out for weddings. Weddings here are the main reason for partying. This place reminded me of the Signature Grand in Davie, Florida, for those of you who are familiar with it. I entered the lobby, checked my abaya and hijab (I was given a claim check ticket this time), and then made my way to an enormous ballroom where the event was held. It was absolutely beautiful - the tables, chairs, the floral centerpieces, the staircase - a creamy white fantasy of perfection. At one end the stage was decorated with a huge white netting open tent decorated with flowers and lights and huge floral arrangements on either side, a cream colored couch with lots of pillows in the center of the stage and pink rose petals were strewn about the entire area.


Leading from the stage was a "catwalk," like for a fashion show, that extended out into the ballroom, dividing it into two sections. There were stairs at the end of the catwalk. The lady guests would climb the stairs and then dance up and down along the catwalk during the course of the evening. I imagined that some of the younger unmarried women dancing were actually trying to get noticed by all the mothers, sisters, aunts, and cousins in attendance who were looking for a possible wife for their available bachelor sons, brothers, or nephews.


I actually sat at three different tables, flitting between different sets of relatives and new acquaintances. The DJ music was playing so loudly that the water in my glass was vibrating! It made it difficult to try to carry on conversations, but I was able to visit at length (during breaks in the music) with several really nice women who had lived in the U.S. for several years and spoke excellent English. Alcohol is forbidden in the country, so the beverages available were all kinds of fruit juices, soft drinks, or water. If I thought the dresses, makeup, shoes and hair were amazing at the more "casual" affair the week prior, I was literally blown away by the gowns, heels and jewels I saw at this event. I felt like I was at the Oscars, seeing one more stunningly beautiful dress after another.


Just before 3am, I noticed all the women getting up, retrieving their abayas and hijabs from the cloak room, and then returning to their seats covered up, so I did the same. My sister-in-law told me that "men were coming" so all the women had to cover up. Several minutes later, a group of about a dozen kids (relatives of the bride) performed a dance routine. Then the groom was presented on the balcony at the top of the staircase. He wore a white thobe with a peachy yellow colored robe over it and a white headdress. Following his introduction, the bride, escorted by her father, joined him on the balcony. The bride wore a creamy beige strapless gown, with tiers of lace and netting covering the fitted bodice down all the way down the full floor length skirt. Her father was dressed in a white thobe topped with a black robe that had gold trim, and the white headdress. While music played, all three of them threw rose petals down from up above, and then they threw a couple dozen single roses down to the female guests below, who were all trilling and clapping. I saw the bride's father gently kiss her on the forehead and then he hugged his new son-in-law. Next, the bride and groom slowly walked down the stairs, and then down the catwalk to their throne area on the stage.


As soon as the couple sat at their throne, at almost 4am, a neighboring ballroom was opened up and all the women guests flocked over to the amazing banquet of food that was set up there. Shortly after I finished eating, I was taken home by a driver. By the time I got home, it was almost 5am.


From what I understand, this is all very typical of Saudi weddings. I have asked several people why they start an affair such as this so late in the evening, lasting until the sun is almost up. No one has been able to give me any kind of an answer - it's just how they like to do it.

Bedouin Jewelry

Within the first month after my arrival in Arabia, Adnan’s mom (Tata) and his sister Baheeja planned several get-togethers to introduce me (and I like to think - to show me off!) to various other women.

One night there was a small gathering for cousins. I wore a beautiful hot pink and orange traditional dress that Baheeja (Adnan's sister) gave me. Adnan’s mom had given me some gold jewelry so I wore that too – a necklace, 2 bracelets, and a ring. The women here in Arabia hug and kiss each others’ cheeks at least three times, sometimes up to eight or even ten times, when greeting or saying goodbye. So right off the bat, you are hugging and kissing someone you have never met before. I kinda like it! We spent the entire evening (5 whole hours) sitting on the floor in Tata’s dining room. Boy, did my hips and legs hurt the next day! The whole time I pretty much sat there smiling and listening to the other women talking in Arabic. I could understand few words here and there, but the majority of the conversation went right over my head. Baheeja would try to interpret a bit, trying to include me.

For dinner, each woman was served her own whole small delicious roasted chicken, with pita bread, hummus, and salad. If that weren't enough, there was enough pizza for each woman to have her own pizza too if she wished. There was WAY too much food. We ate on the floor in the middle of the room and then when we were done with the meal, we moved back to the cushions along the wall, which was a little bit more comfortable. I had to keep switching positions because I am just not that used to sitting on the floor anymore. I tried crossing my legs, stretching them out straight, one leg straight and the other bent, knees up and bent with my hands clasped in front of them - I tried everything to be more comfortable. I just don't know how they can sit on the floor here as much as they do. They have so many living rooms, yet they prefer sitting on the floor!

When Adnan’s cousin Amul got up to leave, I rose up also to bid her goodbye. Amul is a very elegant and refined woman of about 60 with jet black hair swept up in a bun. She was wearing a hot pink traditional dress accessorized by enormous silver Bedouin jewelry. Amul does not speak much English at all, but she had asked a few questions of me through Baheeja during the evening. I was starting to tell her how much I liked what she was wearing when suddenly she reached behind her neck to undo the clasp of the amazing solid silver necklace she was wearing and promptly hung it around my neck. This necklace must weigh several pounds. It is handmade by Bedouins, the gypsies of Arabia who wander the desert. The necklace has unbelievable detail and intricate designs, swirls, chains, loops, bells, and a gigantic dark brown stone – I don’t know what it is. Amul next removed her large hammered silver hoop earrings with dangles and bestowed them to me as well. Of course, I was overwhelmed and I thanked her and hugged and kissed her.

As we edged closer to the door, Amul slid off the two silver bracelets from her wrists and placed them in my hand. One of the bracelets is plain silver and the other one has stones in turquoise, coral and a white stone. It looks Southwestern or American Indian to me. After more hugging and thanks yous, she was out the door. But 30 seconds later the doorbell rang and it was Amul, handing over the two silver rings that had been adorning her fingers. Both rings have over sized red stones, maybe garnets. One ring has small silver bells dangling around the edges and the other is raised with amazing intricate detail around the whole base.

By this point, I was almost in shock. Amul had just taken off every piece of stunning jewelry she had worn that night and just took it all off and gave it all to me. Adnan’s sister Baheeja explained that Amul is very generous and her gesture means that she liked, she REALLY liked me! I was touched and humbled by her actions.

Another evening Tata invited over the other women who live in our building to introduce me to everyone. This time we sat in her main living room - on couches! - and we just had finger foods and sweets. I was just happy not to have to spend another five hour evening sitting on the floor! A couple of the younger ladies were quite stylish and trendy. One of the women had eight kids. She has a whole floor of our building just for her family. Another woman was older, maybe Tata's age, and I think she lived with one of her children and her family. Two of the others were thirty-something and had four kids each. I was able to participate in the conversation a bit more this time since a couple of them spoke pretty good English.

On yet another occasion, Baheeja held a soiree at her home and invited over some family members and some close friends of hers. The ladies all gathered in one of her large formal living rooms at the base of the staircase to the upstairs living quarters, and the men were in another living room off the foyer of her home. This way, the women can take off their coverings because no men would see them. It was funny because a few times during the evening, a male would have to go upstairs for something, and all the women had to duck and hide behind something when this would happen. This evening was much more casual and relaxed, and we women sat on the floor and I instructed them all in making earrings which they each took home with them. The women loved it. Many Saudi women are very crafty and artistic - it is encouraged. Also that night, I tried on this gold Bedouin jewelry that some brides there wear - Baheeja's daughter Bayyan wore it for her wedding. It consists of small gold coins and chains that covers the face, head, hands, and chest - almost like armor! It is quite heavy and uncomfortable - even Bayyan told me she wasn't comfortable the night she wore it - but it is traditional, so they wear it.

All the women I have met so far have been very cordial. And I really appreciate how Tata has gone out of her way to make me feel like I belong and that she is proud to have me in the family. So have Adnan's siblings and their spouses as well. For so many years I used to say how lucky I was that I had no in-law problems (unlike some of my friends) because mine were clear over on the other side of the world! Now, I am living in very close proximity to Adnan's family, and so far, it has been a pleasure. As they say over here: Alhamdulil-La! (Thanks be to God!)

My 1st "Eid" in Arabia

Ramadan ended exactly one week after I arrived in Arabia. During the month of Ramadan, Muslims fast during the daylight hours and are allowed to eat at sundown. They can eat as much as they want until the next morning at sunrise. That's why most people here in Arabia stay up all night during Ramadan and go to bed at sunrise. This way they can avoid much of the feelings of hunger or thirst during the day, although feeling the hunger and thirst is one of the reasons for the fast in the first place. It is to make them think about less fortunate people who don't have enough to eat, so they become more sensitive and sympathetic to others' plights. My husband usually eats at sundown, then again maybe at midnight, and then another meal right before sunrise. The meal at sundown is called breakfast, because it is when the fast is broken. Traditionally, they start it off with a glass of buttermilk and some dates, then they pray, and then they eat their meal. Large families often get together during this time to share breakfast together.

The fasting is done for about thirty days. The time frame is all very scientific, based on the new moon. When Ramadan ends, there is a big three to four day celebration called Eid, where families all get together, much like the Christmas holidays. Gifts are given to children, special holiday dishes and treats are prepared.

The first morning of Eid, we all arose early and got dressed and left for the mosque at 6am. All mosques are positioned so that everyone praying inside will be facing toward Mecca. In Jeddah, this means that all mosques are built at an odd angle from all the surrounding buildings which are on streets that mainly run N-S or E-W. Mecca is southeast of Jeddah. Mosques here are easily identifiable by the domes and towering minarets, most of which are lit up with green lights, and a few with white lights. There are mosques every few blocks, in every neighborhood. Outside the mosque, there are dozens of small cubicles where you can leave your shoes. Shoes cannot be worn inside the mosque. Adnan’s sister Baheeja brought a large bag to put all of our shoes in so we wouldn’t have to waste time searching for them after the services. Because the Eid is a huge holiday and the attendance expected was enormous, the large main air conditioned sanctuary of the mosque is always reserved for only women and children, and the men’s designated area is outside the mosque in the open air. Inside the mosque there was no furniture at all, nary a place to sit except on the thick plush red carpet. We found a place halfway in but off to the side, where I could observe everything that went on with my curious eyes.

There were hundreds of women there for the service. All the women were all covered from head to toe in black of course, and most women wore veils covering their faces except for their eyes. At first glance, it appears that all the women are dressed the same, but upon closer examination, you can see that they are actually all dressed differently. Some black abayas have elegant rhinestone trim, others have tapestry ribbons, or colorful fabric appliqués or embroidery. Some have cut out designs, filled in with sheer fabric or satin or netting. There are stores all over that only sell abayas. I never knew a black robe could have so many different options!

The children were adorable. Little girls were all decked out in colorful outfits that reminded me of Easter. Many girls were dressed in vivid pastel colors, complete with matching hats, socks and shoes. I saw several sets of sisters dressed in matching outfits. A few girls looked like little brides wearing all lacy, frilly white ensembles. I was also struck by the girls’ thick wavy lustrous long dark locks. There were little boys inside with the women also, mostly under age 10 or so. Some were dressed like little sheiks in full traditional attire from head to toe. A few looked like miniature business tycoons, complete with sunglasses. They were all magnificent.

Before the services began, the children were running around and the women visited with one another. Some children distributed goodies brought in by their families to share. The mood was definitely jovial.

Out the windows I could see men dressed in white thobes and red and white or plain white headgear scurrying to get to the special men’s area outside, normally used as a parking lot. For this special occasion, there were hundreds of red carpets laid out for the men to pray on. Loud speakers placed all around enabled anyone within blocks to hear the service. Usually the men would be inside the large area where the women were, and the women would be in a smaller area inside, separate from the men.

Once the service began, everyone quieted down and assembled into neat rows facing Mecca for the prayers. The service lasted about one hour. Of course I didn't understand much because it was all in Arabic, but I was satisfied with the fascination of the whole experience. When it was over, all the women and children headed for the main door. It must have taken at least ten minutes just to get to the doorway to exit the building. Outside, there were dozens of loose shoes that were underfoot, being trampled and scattered about, separated from their mates, and some probably lost forever. The slow stampede of women was trying to make its way to the designated pick up area.

Imagine the men trying to find their wives and children among the hundreds of women all dressed in black, most of whom had their faces veiled. It was organized chaos, and I found the experience to be quite interesting and amusing at the same time.

The Eid Celebration consists of many family get-togethers involving lots of food and sweets. During this time we were invited into the homes of all of Adnan’s siblings

You know how in the states during the Christmas season, there are all these Christmas tree sale lots that pop up everywhere, and for the 4th of July, there are all these fireworks sale lots? Well, here for any holiday, there are all these "little lamb lots" that spring up everywhere. Hundreds of them! You go and pick out a little lamb, and you can have it slaughtered and even cooked for you. Most Muslims always get a lamb (or perhaps a goat or a sheep or even a cow!) and share it with the poor, or other friends and family. It is their way of giving thanks for their good fortunes.

Medical Care & Medications in Arabia

The third day after I arrived in Saudi Arabia, my ear started hurting really bad. I had a horrible headache and sharp pain in my right ear. By the next day, Adnan had to take me to see a doctor. At about 10pm, we went to the Magrabi Eye and Ear Hospital, a huge, brand new, state-of- the-art, spotlessly clean specialty clinic. The place was really hopping and so crowded with patients, it was incredible. Because it was during Ramadan, the clinic didn’t open until 5pm and would be open til after midnight.

We registered at the front desk and we were then directed to the 2nd floor to the ENT Department. I was told to wait in the women’s waiting room, while Adnan, Adel, and Adam waited down the hall. I was the only woman in the crowded waiting room without a veil covering my face. Of course I was wearing the abaya and had my hair covered. After only about ten minutes, I heard a tiny Indonesian nurse call my name, “Madame Suzan Annie.” I followed the nurse to a nearby examination room. Adnan came in too.

The doctor was a man who spoke very good English. I had to remove the hijab or tarha (head covering) so he could examine my ears. He determined that my right ear was quite inflamed – likely a result from having a slight cold before I left the States, plus the ten take-offs or landings I endured over the five day period prior to leaving America. The doctor wrote me four different prescriptions – an antibiotic, a pain reliever, an antihistamine, and nasal drops. We were in and out of this crowded clinic in well under an hour. I don’t know if we received special service because I was American, but it was excellent service. Plus we were able to instantly have the prescriptions filled at the affiliated pharmacy. The doctor visit cost about $20 US and the four prescriptions cost about $25 US all together. All this with no appointment, no insurance, no co-pay!

It took several weeks for my ear to finally clear up and for my hearing to return to normal, but the pain and headaches were gone pretty quickly after I began the medication.

When I left the States, I brought with me a 3 month supply of the medications I take. I thought I better start trying to see if I can get them here, so we went to a pharmacy with my pill bottles. I was able to get all 4 of them filled on the spot. The total cost was about the same as what my insurance co-pay was back in Florida. People don't have insurance here. So, I got all my medication without seeing a doctor here, without a prescription, and without any insurance! I was amazed. I know that I wouldn't be able to afford the medication back in Florida if I didn't have insurance.

I also have since been to another clinic to have blood drawn. Again the service was stellar, and the place was immaculate. No appointment, no insurance, no problems. In fact, the nurse that took my blood was so good, I didn't feel a thing!

We also had to take my son to yet another clinic and we had amazing service there as well too. This clinic was actually closed (for prayers) when we arrived, but they immediately saw my son, gave him a shot, and then we returned there later when the clinic was open to see the doctor. And another time when my son relapsed, the clinic was closed and no doctor was in, but a guy who works at the clinic actually accompanied us to a nearby pharmacy with my son's file so we could get a refill of the proper medication!

So far I have been really impressed with the medical care here - the service is incredible and the doctors and workers are very knowledgeable. I have no qualms at all about getting sick here!

Live from Jeddah...It's Susie of Arabia!

During the month of August 2007, we were very busy trying to get ready for our upcoming move to Arabia. The decision to not sell the house before we left took a lot of pressure off. A friend of Adnan's would stay in the house, make the payments, and take care of it for us. We sold both vehicles and various household items, mainly through Craigslist.com. What remained was boxed up and put in the garage.

I had a few get togethers with my girlfriends before I left. One night we went to downtown Hollywood, one of our favorite haunts. There were five of us and we had dinner at a Mexican restaurant that we had gone to many times before. When the waiter who was taking our order got to me, he looked at me and said, “I know you – I have seen you on TV, right?” I had no idea what was coming, but having been on TV a couple of times in my life, I decided to go along and smiled and said yes. Then he proceeded to tell me how much he enjoyed my cooking show. Cooking show ? ! ? My girlfriends immediately picked up on this and away we went, pulling this guys leg so far I thought it would snap off. Apparently, he thought I looked enough like Paula Dean that he convinced himself that I was she. Not only that, he also managed to convince all the other employees at the restaurant too. The other waiters kept walking by our table, smiling at me, and the manager came over and introduced herself to me. She even tried to track down a camera so she could have her picture taken with me. The food and drinks were great, as usual, but it took an extraordinarily long time for the bill to come which made me a bit anxious – I just didn’t feel right about fooling the restaurant like this and them giving us a free meal for it. Finally though, to my relief, the bill showed up, we paid, said our goodbyes, and left.
Next we walked down the street and remarkably on the very next block was a Hookah Lounge. My friends were all game for sharing a hookah in honor of my departure. It was a fitting send-off. We sat at an outside table and ordered a hookah with a blend of apple and cherry sheesha. I hadn’t smoked a hookah since the early days of my relationship with Adnan when we were university students back in Arizona. The girls all took their turns, puffing on the huge pipe and passing it around. I was very proud of my somewhat conservative girlfriends. I'm sure it was a little out of their comfort zone. They gave up after only a few puffs, and I didn’t want it going to waste, so I continued puffing away on my own - until I began feeling woozy and nauseous. I excused myself and ran inside to the bathroom. Ughh! What an awful feeling. But I must say that the whole experience made for a truly memorable night that we will always remember.
On August 30th, Adnan and Adam departed for Saudi Arabia. I also left Florida that same morning, however since my visa was not granted yet, I flew to Arizona for a week to visit my daughter and various friends, and then on to Seattle to wait out the rest of the time with my family up in the Pacific Northwest. My men would fly to New York and then connect to a non-stop flight from there to Jeddah. The length of the flight is about 11.5 hours. Later when I spoke with Adam, he told me that there was a big family welcoming committee to greet them at the airport when they arrived in Arabia. It made him feel really good, “Like a rock star!” he said.
I honestly thought it might take months for my visa to be ready, but it ended up taking only a few short weeks. On Monday, October 1st, I flew from Seattle to Ft. Lauderdale. I had to gather some belongings and papers for my trip to Arabia. The next evening I flew from Florida to Washington DC because I had to pick up my visa from the Saudi Embassy. This was a frustrating experience, but one that turned out okay in the end. I managed to get my visa issued that very day, which they had told me over the phone that they could do. I also went to an Islamic Center and got a certificate saying that I was a Muslim. Adnan told me that if I had this, it would make things easier for me in Arabia, so I did.
That night, with visa in hand, I flew from Washington DC to New York. This was, in and of itself, distressing - my flight was canceled so I had to fly into Laguardia instead of JFK, got in 4 hours later than planned, meaning the airport shuttles had already stopped running. Plus my hotel was at JFK so I had to split a cab with another couple - but it all eventually worked out. Even though I was exhausted after this long and stressful day, I was so excited I couldn’t sleep at all in my super comfortable bed at the hotel.
I left the next day, Thursday, October 4, for Arabia on the long non-stop Saudia Airlines flight to Jeddah. It was the last week of Ramadan. Before take-off, the flight attendants came around with meal menus, earphones, pillows, blankets, and a nice toiletry bag containing wet wipes, a sleeping eye mask, slippers, toothbrush, toothpaste, lotion and mouthwash. Within 15 minutes after take-off, we were served drinks and a snack. Since most people on board were fasting for Ramadan, the food service was especially speedy. I ordered the lamb curry with green chile, rice, salad, bread, and shrimp cocktail. The chile was just a thin slice, but boy, was it hot!
Each seat was equipped with a small screen located on the back of the seat in front. There were games one could play, movies to watch or American comedy shows like 2 and a Half Men, Everyone hates Chris, and Seinfeld. Any exposed skin, especially cleavage on women, were blurred out on these shows and there were Arabic sub-titles. There was also religious programming or music to choose from as well.
Most of the women passengers on the flight were dressed in the long black abayas (robe) and black hijabs (head coverings). Some of the men passengers were wearing just the white wrap-around sheet that is worn to Mecca for the religious pilgrimage, and even more men changed into the sheets shortly before the flight arrived at Jeddah. In the very back of the plane in the middle section was a large curtained off area which was about 5 or 6 rows long and 4 seats wide. This was a carpeted prayer area where passengers could pray during the flight. The floors outside the bathrooms were sopping wet because of people washing up before prayers. All Muslims must wash their faces, hands and forearms and the feet prior to praying. I had to ask for new slippers because mine got soaked when I stepped near the bathroom door.
By the time the plane landed, I had been able to sleep for only one hour of this very long flight – I guess I was just too excited to sleep.
I arrived in Saudi Arabia two weeks before my 56th birthday. My flight landed in Jeddah at 9am that Friday morning in early October. From the air, Jeddah is huge and spread out. It appears very brown, with not much greenery. The climate is very warm and dry with very little annual rainfall. We deplaned on stairs, not a jet way, and boarded a tram to the terminal. It was only 9am, but it was already quite warm. I had dressed conservatively but comfortably for the flight, and before I deplaned, I put a scarf on my head to cover my hair.
When I walked into the Baggage Claim area, there were at least twenty guys waiting around with luggage carts eagerly trying to assist the passengers. Adnan had warned me about them. They were very pushy and aggressive, and one just latched onto me. He got my bags off the carousel and then we proceeded to Immigration. I got right through and then it was on to Customs, where every bag was scanned through a large X-ray machine. I didn’t see one bag opened up for inspection. There were so many items I had decided not to bring with me because I didn’t want to take a chance that they would be confiscated, and here it turns out that I could have brought virtually anything with me! Darn! Then we walked to the passenger pickup area where I searched the crowd for a familiar face. I was greeted by Adnan, Adam and Adnan’s brother Adel. They were all dressed in the traditional white dresses men wear called thobes and wore the red and white checkered headgear. My Arabian welcoming committee was much smaller than Adam’s had been because I arrived during Ramadan, when most people stay up all night to eat and then sleep during the day so they don’t feel as much hunger or thirst. So my arrival took the back seat to their sleep!
I couldn’t believe I was in Arabia after all these years. It was something I had never imagined.
Adnan was excited and proud to show me our new vehicle. It is a champagne colored Toyota Fortuner, a make of SUV not sold in the US. The protective plastic was still on the seats, headrests, and visors. There was practically no traffic at all on the drive from the airport to our house. Remember this was a Friday, late morning, in a city of about 2 million people! But because it was Ramadan, most businesses were closed and most people were at home sleeping. Driving through the streets, I was reminded of Mexico, just by the style of the buildings and the way they are arranged. The building we live in is a cube shape, as many of the dwellings there are. There are about 4-5 floors. There are two large open tiled lobby areas with fountains connected by the area where the elevators and the stairway are. The two elevators are small and can accommodate maybe four squeezed in adults at a time. We live on the 1st floor above the lobby, so we usually use the stairs for the exercise. Half of the entire first floor is our apartment and the other half belongs to Adnan’s mom, Tata.
Our new home is spacious and uncluttered and comfortable. I have photos of our new home posted online at:
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=8fs176as.85g0r0y8&x=1&y=-fvwbb7
One evening shortly within the first week of my arrival, we accompanied Adel’s family out to the Corniche, the boulevard and large paved boardwalk which stretches for miles along the Red Sea where many of the expensive hotels are and also contains many of Jeddah’s famous sculptures. There are also many shaded areas with benches. We arrived just before sunset for a seaside evening picnic. Sundown during Ramadan is when the fast is broken, so the meal is called breakfast. There were 13 of us altogether, including three small children and three maids. The maids did all the work of carrying everything from the vehicles and setting it all up. They spread out three large Persian carpets under a huge umbrella on the concrete, just steps from the Red Sea. We watched as the sun set and at the same time we heard the call to prayer from the utterly gorgeous nearby Fatima Mosque, which juts out on a small peninsula and at high tide appears to be floating in the Red Sea when the tide is in. By the time we left, it had ebbed and you could see the support posts underneath it. They all prayed and then we ate – a very typical Middle Eastern meal of dates, hummus, sambuseks (meat eggrolls), salad, and rice. There was a pleasant breeze coming off of the Red Sea which felt great, especially wearing the abaya and hijab. I really didn’t feel hot at all. Then we drove through a nearby district with really beautiful walled villas that were just gorgeous.
Another evening we all went to a huge new beautiful shopping mall, called Roshan Mall. It had a large play area for kids, which was a small amusement park with various rides. There are not many activities for Arabian women and children aside from shopping, so all the malls I have seen have a huge play area. The stores looked just like the stores in America, and there was a large food court too. Among others, there was Baskin Robbins, McDonalds, Burger King, and a huge store similar to Super Target called Hyper Panda. Just the customers look different, that’s all! The women are covered in black from head to toe and most are veiled and most of the men are dressed in their white thobes and head-dresses.
One day we drove down to Old Jeddah, which is southwest from where we live, about a 45 minute drive away in good traffic. Many of the buildings are over 500 years old or more. I was surprised to see many poor women and children there begging for money. Arabia has its poor people too. This is proving to be a land of many contrasts and contradictions. I saw the area in Old Jeddah where Adnan was born (his grandmother’s house), and the old house where he grew up, that his mom still owns and is trying to sell. I saw where Adnan went to elementary school and where his dad is buried. The streets were narrow and crowded with parked cars and pedestrians and the hustling and bustling of activity, and the traffic was a nightmare. It’s almost comical seeing the bumper to bumper traffic with all men drivers talking on cell phones and dressed in their traditional garb behind the wheel of the latest models of SUVs or other expensive cars, honking constantly.
We parked and walked into Bab Makkah (means Gate to Mecca), an enormous outdoor open air market meandering down one closed-to-traffic street for blocks on end. Bab Makkah has many shops and street vendors selling all sorts of food items, cooked or uncooked, like dry goods, olives, dates, fresh produce, and meats like lamb and chicken. There are many other items for sale as well, like clothing, shoes, watches and other jewelry, luggage, toys, sports equipment, and just about anything you can name. The place was incredibly interesting, but also very hot with that black abaya on! It was almost surreal. At times, I felt transported way back in time to Biblical days, until I was jolted back to reality by the nearby honking traffic. There is a link to an album with my first photos of Arabia in the left hand column of my blog. This album contains some photos of the market.
I can honestly see why women aren’t allowed to drive here, especially in a place like Jeddah. It is absolute madness! There is no way I would ever WANT to drive here. First of all, there is virtually no traffic enforcement to speak of. (Adnan calls it "freedom!") In heavy traffic, cars are bumper to bumper, literally inches apart with far too many narrow misses for my blood pressure! Drivers totally disregard any semblance of traffic lanes, and they have to be very aggressive. Going the wrong direction on a clearly marked one way street is common. Even on divided streets with a median down the middle, it is not unusual to encounter cars going both directions on each side of the median. Many times cars will turn left from the far right lane in front of all the other lanes of traffic! One time on a busy street, we saw a car ahead of us go into reverse, backing his way through the lanes of oncoming traffic! It is absolutely crazy. Half of the time I have to cover my eyes because it is so nerve wracking. Amazingly there are very few accidents which I find astonishing. Somehow it works.
I kept bugging Adnan to get me a map of Jeddah, and finally one day his brother Adel pulled over while we were driving and bought me a map. The only problem was – it was all written in Arabic, so it really didn’t do me much good. I finally got a map in English, so I am trying to learn my way around, although when you're not the driver, it is harder to pay attention to the streets and how to get somewhere. And there is always something interesting that catches my eye and distracts me.
So far, I have found that the language barrier really is a non-issue. Almost everyone speaks some English and many people speak it very well. It is taught in the schools here. I haven't felt it is a problem at all, but it has made me lazier about trying to learn Arabic! The pronunciation is difficult with many guttural sounds that are not used in English. I did get a good laugh out of everyone one day shortly after my arrival, when instead of saying, “I need the bathroom,” I said, “I am a bathroom!” I still get kidded about that. Another thing that makes it a difficult language to learn is that inanimate objects are male or female, as in Spanish. But in Arabic this affects the verb form that ones uses. Adnan's family has been really good about making Adam and me feel included, but there are times when they tend to speak more in Arabic and I don't have a clue what they are talking about. I can pick up a few words here and there, so sometimes I can figure out what they are talking about, but many times I can't.
I have been in Arabia for almost three months now, and so far the experience has been incredibly interesting. Granted, marrying a man from an entirely different culture and religion is not an easy thing to do - and making it work is even harder. The decision to leave my country, my family, my home, my religion, and many of my freedoms was not an easy one to make. What has made the transition easier is how warmly my son and I have been welcomed into Adnan's family. Their generosity is overwhelming. The people here are warm and friendly, and women here are treated with great respect. My husband has become more relaxed and seems more content to be back home now. It is plain to see how well-loved and respected my husband is here. Our lives have definitely slowed down in Arabia. My son has probably had a harder time making the adjustment than I have - he is, after all, a teenager. But he is coping and hopefully he will look back on this time as a great experience and opportunity in his life.
I have a lot more to tell you, but I will save that for my next episodes, which hopefully will post sooner than it took me to get this done! Stay tuned!

The Countdown

All of you have moved at one point or another in your lives, so you know what I have been going through these past few weeks. It is such a huge undertaking dismantling a home after 14 years of living in it and pretty overwhelming. Since we will be taking very few items with us to our new home in Jeddah, I am faced with what to get rid of, what is most sentimental to me, and what I feel I can't live without that I may not be able to acquire in Arabia. Adnan tells me that everything that we need should be available over there, so I am taking his word for it.

Looking through all of our belongings, it is easy to see what I value the most. Photos would have to be on top of my list. And since photography is one of my passions, I have TONS of photos. I realize I won't be able to take ALL the photos with us, so I am having to sort through them carefully. I have been busy making sure I have the last few years photos on CDs, which will be much easier to take with me. The rest will remain in the States boxed up.

Also at the top of my list is movies, however strict censorship is alive and well in Arabia. Adnan has told me to be careful in this area because if the movie has bad language, is sexy or immoral or indecent, it will not be allowed into the country. By the way, there are no movie theaters in Arabia. This will be an adjustment for both Adam and me as we are both big movie buffs. We will be able to have satellite TV though, so hopefully we will be able to still see our movies on TV - maybe not as soon as they come out, but... well, we'll just have to see how that goes. Hmmm...I wonder what TV shows we will be able to view there as well.

Books would also have to be near the top of my list. This presents a problem because of the amount of space that books take up and their weight and also because of the censorship. I have so many books on painting and I know I can't possibly take them all with me. Adnan has his books too. We really have some weeding through to do. Plus there are my old school yearbooks and Adam's too.

And then of course there are my paints and all the equipment that goes with it. I know I can purchase painting supplies over in Arabia, but I just hate to part with all of it.

We had planned on selling the house before we leave, but now we have decided that since the market is slow right now, we will wait. A close friend will live in the house for the next year or so, take care of it and make the payments. This will leave our options open too, just in case. Plus it lifted the enormous pressure off of us to get the house sold in a slow market. We can feel comfortable leaving some things in the house, instead of feeling like everything must be disposed of. We did have the entire kitchen redone recently, had a new garage door installed, and we have been painting and fixing things up around the house so it is in tip top shape when we leave. Hopefully in a year or two the market will have picked up again and we will sell the house then.

When we made the decision to move out of the U.S. a few months ago, I had shared this news with only my family and very few of my friends and co-workers. When I decided that the time had come to inform all my other friends and acquaintances, I released the first edition of my blog. So far the reaction to the news of our moving to Saudi Arabia has been overwhelmingly positive. Many friends have reacted with almost as much enthusiasm as I have for our adventure. Some have expressed excitement, mixed with a little apprehension and maybe even a little fear. Others have been very supportive, while some have been so shocked that they are literally speechless. I have also been pleasantly surprised at the number of like-spirited souls who have even asked about the possibility of coming over to visit us once we get settled. Everyone I have heard from, except for one, has graciously wished us their best. Some people I have yet to hear from. And then there have been a few who have just blurted out, "ARE YOU CRAZY?"

I don't know...is it crazy to follow the man I love half way around the world to experience his culture and be accepted into his family? I realize I don't speak the language and my lifestyle will drastically change from what I am used to. But I think most people have misconceptions and are misinformed and uneducated about what Saudi Arabia is really like and what its people are really like, too. There is a fear of the unknown that a lot of people have of the Middle East. I doubt that anyone who asked if I am crazy has ever had a friend or known anyone personally from the Middle East. The people are warm, friendly, honest, decent, sincere, and have very high morals. Contrary to the propaganda Americans have been fed by the right wing news media, Moslems do not hate Americans and our freedom. They simply do not like our foreign policies, and frankly, neither do I. So, if anyone wants to call me crazy, go ahead. I am not afraid of change or new experiences in my life.

In fact, there are many changes that I look forward to in Arabia. I look forward to a simpler life with far less stress. I look forward to living in a place where modesty is required and vulgarity is forbidden, where children can be children and they are not exposed to adult issues and behaviors too early in life. I anticipate being treated with courtesy and respect by others - I guess I have lived in South Florida too long where it is normal for salespeople to treat customers rudely, indifferently, or just simply ignore them! It was definitely culture shock when I made the move from Arizona to South Florida 14 years ago. I knew I would never get used to how I was treated in stores or while driving on the roads. Don't get me wrong - I have managed to make some wonderful friends here and I will miss them immensely, but I can't imagine myself missing South Florida itself.

Getting back to the one person who chose not to wish us well in our new life: I have been friends with his wife for about 25 years. His wife and I used to work together back in Tucson and we were also roommates for a time as well - long before she ever met her future husband. During my visits back to Arizona since our move to Florida, I have always made the effort to see her. However it has always been disappointing for me because as soon as I drive up, her husband suddenly appears, and he completely dominates the conversation. I have always thought he was an obnoxious, pompous ass. My girlfriend has seemingly become a distant shadow of the person she used to be since she met this man and barely even speaks anymore when he is around. He also has polar opposite political views than I and is intolerant of people who disagree with him. This is the exact verbatim email response that I received from him:

"Please remove me from your list. I have very strong feelings that need not be discussed with you. I will inform A****** (his wife) of your decision. Please don't write anymore, I don't want to have my e-mail associated with you or Adnan."

My impression is that he is living in fear of Big Brother watching his every move and that he feels Adnan and I are traitors to this country, maybe even terrorists ourselves. But he had neither the decency nor the grace to at least wish us well in our new venture.

I know that not all of my friends agree with my political views. But isn't that what our country is all about? We have the right - and the duty - to question things we don't agree with. I must admit that I am extremely disappointed in this country right now. I feel that we have lost many of the freedoms we have always had and have taken for granted for far too long. I also feel that the current administration has driven this country down a road that is very treacherous and harmful to many of its citizens. And our children will have to be paying for the mistakes of this administration's policies for many years to come.

We think we have freedom here, but do we really? We are forced by law to pay for things like insurance, for example. Is this freedom? Just try making a claim - the insurance companies gladly accept your premiums and keep getting richer and richer, but when it comes time for them to settle your claim, they try every way they know how to get out of paying you. And then they raise your premiums or cancel your policy. Have you ever sat down and figured out how much you have actually paid in over the years for health insurance? We figured ours out the other day, and Adnan has paid in over $250,000 in 14 years. Our claims have - at the most - come to maybe $20,000 in all those years. There is something really wrong here. Add your premiums up - you will be astounded.

Anyway, my family and I have reservations to depart on August 30. As of today, less than two weeks away, I still have not been issued my documentation to enter Saudi Arabia. It is looking like Adnan and Adam may have to go on ahead without me and I will remain in the U.S. until my paperwork is approved. I am disappointed that I may not get to travel over there with them. I am so anxious to go - I can hardly wait! Until next time....