Many other parts of the world have come a long way since the days
of blaming a rape victim for the attack because of the way she was dressed, or because of
the way she was acting, forever implying that “she was asking for it.”
Not so in Saudi Arabia.
Women are routinely blamed and punished for crimes of a sexual nature committed
against them. In rape cases, the woman
is nearly always faulted, no matter what her age or what she was wearing. More than likely she was dressed in the all
too familiar Saudi female’s uniform of a black cloak from head to toe, but even then,
she is considered too sexy for men to be expected to control themselves around
her.
So it should come as no surprise that in a recent poll, morethan 86% of men blamed women’s eye makeup as the leading reason for the increase in the number of cases of men molesting women. This, despite the fact that in Islam men are required to “lower their gaze” and not to look at women, so as not to be
tempted. The articles I read didn’t say what the women
polled thought about this eye makeup issue.
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| AFP Photo / by Amir Hilabi |
The survey was conducted by the King Abdul Aziz Centre for
National Dialogue and queried almost one thousand Saudi men and women.
Another high ranking reason thought to be responsible for
the rise in attacks on women was the lack of accountability and
punishment. Eighty per cent of the
respondents felt that men can simply get away with behaving badly because, in
this society, they can! There is no fear of recrimination for their
actions and no consequences. I believe that this has always been a valid
reason since men here are rarely held responsible for their actions against
women and are not expected to be able to control themselves around them. However, this doesn’t account for a rise in
the number of cases of harassment of women as nothing has really changed within
the law or the punishment.
When are the people and the government of Saudi Arabia going
to get with the program and stop blaming the victim?
Saudi men, you need to accept responsibility
for your actions, learn how to control yourselves around women, and stop
blaming women when you harass them. Sheesh!
Some things never change over there. More than sad...it is pathetic. You have the patience of a Saint, sticking it out. Obviously, the men can get away with a lot, with no penalty. Do very many women try to leave the country so they can be treated with some sort of respect? I would imagine they are afraid to escape their "culture."
ReplyDeleteHi Lori - There are some Saudi women who have left the country, but it is difficult, especially since a Saudi woman has a legal male guardian who has to give his approval for her to travel, get an education, marry, work, seek medical attention, etc. Until this system is done away with or somehow changed to prevent abuses within it, women are at the mercy of their guardian. Most guardians are fair and generous, but many women suffer at the hands of the one who is supposed to protect her. Adapting to a new culture is not always easy for those who have left.
DeleteIt is weird to act towards women as if they are eternal juveniles, but consider them at fault if there is any hanky panky.
ReplyDeleteHi Jerry - It really is weird, isn't it? Legally women here are not considered able to make their own decisions, yet men make decisions to harass or molest women and then it becomes the woman's fault. Pretty hard to understand that logic...
DeleteIsn't it ironic, that Saudi Arabia is supposedly or seemingly the most 'religious' place on earth, meaning its citizens would presumably have high morals and strong faith, but in reality this seems more like the land of the world's's weakest men, in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder they have to try and control women, the poor weaklings need it to feel strong.
Hi Blue - I always wonder why foreign jails aren't filled with Saudi men who have misbehaved when traveling outside KSA. Apparently it is only within this country that Saudi men cannot seem to maintain control over their actions toward women. Very strange phenomenon indeed.
Delete"Sounds like",to mw, seeing these excuses, that it has been accepted as fact that Saudi men are inherently sexually immoral and that noyhing better can be expected of them. That is a terrible judgment and time for men to step up and see to it that this behavior and its acceptance are condemned and changed
ReplyDeleteHi Shafermom - You are absolutely correct. The social rules here in KSA speak volumes about the implied immaturity and lack of self control that men here have. All these "rules" do is continue to enable Saudi men to behave badly, while shifting the blame for their bad behavior onto the women temptresses.
DeleteI would love to see the official incidence of rape and abuse of women rise in Saudi Arabia....that would mean the women are reporting it...now it is just accepted that as a women you can be treated like scum and just have to put up with it.
ReplyDeleteI was watering my garden last night, no abaya, some man just stood across the road watching me - I wanted to scream and shout at him to get a life, but of course it is my fault as I was not covering myself from head to toe in black...shame on me...or shame on him for staring??
Hi Anonymous - While more of these crimes of rape and abuse are being reported, sadly I believe that the vast majority still go unreported. The legal system here largely favors men, and women are routinely returned to their abusers.
DeleteShame on that man for staring - he is supposed to lower his gaze and not look. Why don't THEY follow the "rules?"
Saudi Arabia is the most segregation country in the world,and yet the men don't leave the women alone. To all the men out there just fellow Islam and respect your mother,sister, daughter and neighbor.
ReplyDeleteI hate to do it, but I'm going to pile on.
ReplyDeleteBack when I was teaching, my students and I were discussing a few different topics (harassment, unwanted attention, red flags, self defense etc) and girls began telling their own horror stories. One girl in particular nearly burst into tears, she explained that one time she was at the holy mosque in Mecca, and it was really crowded and a large man came up from behind her, pushed himself against her and put his arms around her and groped her breasts. She said she was so scared she could hardly cry out. She rushed over to an officer (a sheikh more accurately) and told him what had happened. She said he shook his head and seemed sympathetic, but then he said "Sister you should cover up, he targeted you because of how you are dressed" She told us that she was in a solid black abaya and a scarf, which was draped around her face, no make up.
Another student (who I know personally) explained that her cousin (boy) had relations with a neighbor's daughter (outside of marriage of course, this was not rape) and she got pregnant and had a child, which was left to be raised by the maid (a different matter all together). The atrocious thing about all this, was when ever the instance was referred to, or someone asked about the child, they would say that "our son/cousin/brother made a mistake with a girl may he be forgiven for his sin!" but when they talked about the girl, it was always in the most despicable manner, saying things such as "she lured him, may she burn in hell!" and "she probably thought he would marry her, he showed her!" and "she's obviously a slut, our cousin/son/brother is not the first boy she slept with!"
Even her own family speak about her in that way.
They were equally responsible and should both be held responsible for their actions, but most importantly their CHILD! But instead it all gets swept under the rug, no one is reprimanded or held accountable, and so it's seen as not such a big deal.
In the case of rape, these men need to be held accountable, and be made an example of, they are barbaric and acting in an animalistic way. The more they shut up about it, the more the blame is put on the girl/woman, the more these knuckle draggers think that their actions are justified! And it won't stop! It's sickening!
Hi HM-87 - I totally agree. Sadly I have heard many stories just like the one you were told about happening in Mecca. If women cannot be safe there in this country, then where can they be safe? What is so wrong that men in the holiest city of Islam would behave in this manner and think that it is okay? Equally wrong is trying to justify men molesting women in Mecca because of her modest clothing is just despicable and only serves to continue to enable this type of unacceptable behavior.
DeleteI have also heard similar stories like the baby story you relayed. It gets really tiring to hear how everything is the woman's fault here in KSA, no matter what the situation. Medieval thinking - so very wrong.