Widowed in Saudi Arabia - Update

Several years ago in 2009, I brought you the true cautionary tale of a British woman who was widowed in Saudi Arabia.  In the four part series, I detailed the struggles of the woman and her children when her Saudi husband passed away and how her husband's family trapped the woman and her children in Saudi Arabia for ten long years.  

(To read the original four part series, here are the links:  Part One; Part Two; Part Three; and Part Four.)

By late 2010, the family managed to finally escape from the country and I wrote a minor update at that time which focused on the country's male guardianship system.  The seven years since then haven’t been easy for the family, but they have been rebuilding their lives day by day.  I am pleased to now bring you the latest update on this family and their will to survive.  So here, once again, is "Asima," in her own words ...

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How are you an​​d the kids doing? Have they been able to adapt to their new lives?

I’ve been free from Saudi now  for 7 years,  It certainly has been eye opening,  I guess when you’re in the  situation I was in, where you think you will never see freedom again, you cling onto  there being ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. However that’s far from the truth and it’s the beginning of another chapter. It has been hard adjusting. If we had stayed in Saudi, my son would have had a future but my daughter wouldn’t have.  Now the roles are reversed - my daughter has a future, as she was 13 when we escaped from Saudi Arabia, so going to school outside the kingdom has given her an entrance to society, but my son has struggled.

​W​as the adjustment to freedom overwhelming?​ 

Extremely!!! The adjustment was hard.  After 21 years in Saudi (all my adult life), it took me at least 2 years to learn how to be independent again. The children went through numerous rounds of therapy, which my daughter still needs. I have only just begun my own therapy, as I wanted my children sorted first. It showed me that there are very little resources in the West, for the trauma women in my situation go through. I hope in the future, once my book is published, to start a charity to help women. It’s very hard to return to a society that you grew up in as a child but coming from a society that is the total opposite. Even though you look part of that society, you feel you no longer belong. It’s like being caught in 2 worlds. I hope one day to make contacts to start a charity for women with people who understand both cultures and can help women and their kids fit back into society.

What were the biggest challenges you faced?​

When I reached the west I was penniless, with 3 suitcases and my children. We were blessed to find a family lawyer whose services were pro bono, who advised us to change our identities and cut ties to our past lives. This was unbelievably hard to have to deny 21 years of your life, 21 years that shaped you as a person, 21 years of memories and friends.  I guess it was hardest on my son to lose his family name- it was like losing his father all over again.  Next was trying to become financially viable and find a home. I was still unable to sell my home back in Saudi, because of my husband’s family.  However I was blessed with a very close Saudi friend who I gave power of attorney and after a year won the rights to sell my home. The family took their financial share, denying my children their inheritance - funny because their claim to the courts was that they didn’t want us to sell the house as they wanted to protect the kid’s inheritance.

Are you working and doing better financially?

I am working, part time, all the experience I gained in Saudi was worth nothing in the west as the west puts more weight into certification, rather than physical experience. I had to begin back at the bottom and take an apprenticeship course with 18 year old students – but it got my foot in the door of employment. It has been hard the past 7 years trying to be a single mom on part time salary and trying to begin life again.  I certainly would advise any one in my circumstances back in Saudi to make sure they get certification for any work experience they have in Saudi.

What was the biggest surprise​/change to you about the outside world?

Most surprising to me has been how society is more about working to survive, and how closed minded many people are about other cultures. I am blessed that both my children were brought up in a society where your religion and race mean nothing. People couldn’t accept that even though I was British that I didn’t know how things worked.  They saw the same girl that left 21 years ago, but whilst I was physically the same, mentally I was a totally different person - and that’s been a hard barrier to overcome.

How is your social life?

My social life has been in fits and starts.  I was blessed to reconnect with old friends, but truthfully the past 7 years have been about rebuilding our lives, trying to repair the damage to my children and myself from the  trauma  of what happened with my husband’s family. I have found it hard to trust people as a few close friends back in Saudi informed my husband’s family of our planned escape, putting mine and my children’s lives in danger. I do prefer the social life I had in Saudi; it was more active and opened my eyes to the difference between cultures and religions. Socially it was more authentic in Saudi.

​Any exciting news you'd like to share?​

My daughter was accepted into University and is studying creative writing, taking after her mom. She aims to become a university lecturer once she graduates. She has already been published in a book of short stories and poetry.  It’s nice to see her grow.

I will become 50 in a few months and after 7 hard years struggling; I’m finally starting to achieve a sense of peace, through my therapy.

I have been working hard on publishing my book. I nearly was accepted by a publishing company to publish my book but the deal fell through, because of the actions of my then agent. I have chosen now to go independently, though it’s getting my story out there to the masses. I feel it’s a story that needs to be told, to help other women when making this giant leap into a world unknown. We are blessed now that the internet has opened doors for women to access information about Saudi Arabia, compared to when I went there back in 1990.  

But it’s still extremely hard to be a person of two cultures. We seriously need to help others escaping to settle back, but it’s finding  therapy and networking with others that have been through the  experience and trauma and help from people who understand  both cultures, we need to set up workshops  to help women and their children to integrate into society, to learn how to function in a totally different society. Most importantly to heal again and become a functioning well rounded family.

Is there anything you miss about Saudi Arabia?

I miss so much from Saudi.  It is my adopted home and it has been good to me and my children. Unfortunately there were numerous people (not the country) that caused my situation. Like every country in the world there is good and bad. Unfortunately however, in Saudi when the bad happens, women are left to fend alone and in many cases don’t succeed in reaching freedom with their children.

I miss the simple life.

I miss the authenticity of the people there, how expats joined together as extended families. How people always extended their hands to help others.

I miss Al Baik – lol.

I do still consider Saudi my home.

What do you think of all the changes going on here in KSA?

I’m sad I’m not part of the changes happening but feel an extreme sense of pride. When I first arrived in Saudi Arabia back in 1990, we were told that was the year women would drive.  21 years later still women weren’t granted that, but I’m proud the Prince has allowed women the freedoms that are their right.  It’s amazing to see the changes taking place for women, especially as they have been denied those rights for so long. Women are half the population and a society cannot function when only half its population is active.

I do fear however that Saudi will lose its identity.  I learnt moving back to the West that we have no culture, no identity - we all blend in as one.  Saudi is blessed that it still has its culture, its history, and it should hold onto those. It’s a new beginning for Saudi and I hope they handle the changes gradually.

I am hoping my Book – ‘Shifting Sands’ will open the door between East and West, to give women the tools to be prepared if the worse befalls them. Being married to a Saudi has many pitfalls but also many blessings. I feel communication between the two cultures would prevent a lot of situations arising.  But more importantly, I feel women need support and information, so they will never suffer as my children and I did. It’s a scar that will never full erase, so I hope from our trauma and experience it will help some other mother and her children to find freedom.

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.

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You can follow Asima's blog about her memories of her life in Saudi Arabia called "Shifting Sands" by clicking HERE.

First Wives Club

I used to be able to count on one hand the number of women I personally know whose Saudi husbands married a second wife.  Those days are gone.  Sadly now that number exceeds all the fingers on both hands and all of my toes as well.  As many of you know, Saudi Arabia is governed by Sharia Law which comes from the Quran, the holy book of Islam.  Islam allows men to be married to up to four different women at the same time. 

Muslim scholars and Muslim men seem to be proud of the fact that the Quran is the only holy book that actually states “Marry only one (wife).”  I hear them boast about this all the time!  Why then are so many Muslim men taking on more than wife?  I find this amusing, since polygyny is permitted in Islam but not encouraged.  I just hate it when I hear men here saying that it is their God-given right.  Pfffft!

The original idea for this arrangement is centuries old and was borne out of the necessity of the times.  Men would go off to war, get killed, and there was an abundance of widows and orphans left behind that needed to be protected and provided for.  It was affirmed to be man's “social responsibility,” which begs the question:  Why exactly does a man have to marry a second woman to fulfill his social responsibility?  Especially when the Quran clearly says "Marry only one"???  Aren’t there other socially acceptable ways to provide for needy people other than marriage?  How about charity?  Why do men have to introduce sex into the equation in order to fulfill their social responsibility?

Many Muslim men like to make the claim that there are SO many more women in the world than men, and while that may have been the case centuries ago, statistically speaking, this is no longer a valid argument.  In today’s world, all recent statistics clearly show that men now outnumber women in births (107 to 100) and in the world population (101 to 100).

Yes, there are some countries in the world where women outnumber men, but in the total overall, there are more men.  And Saudi Arabia – where men can marry up to four women - is one of the majority countries that actually has more men than women - so this contention just doesn't hold water any more.

Another reason given for why polygyny is allowed in Islam is to allow a man whose wife cannot bear children to marry another woman who can have babies so he can produce heirs.  The problem with this assertion is that frequently the man is the one with fertility problems - so this excuse for multiple wives should at least have a provision that the man should be checked first to make sure he is not the one with sterility problems - don't cha think?  

 

I’ve even heard proponents of the multiple wives policy come up with the reasoning that there are so many gay men in the world - so obviously gay men don't count as eligible men in the marriage pool.  Hello?  They always seem to overlook the fact that there are also plenty of lesbians in the world too who don’t want to marry men either.  Moot point.  

And probably the most "honest" excuse I have heard for why polygyny is allowed in Islam is because men just naturally have a stronger sex drive and want to have sex with a variety of women.  So polygyny allows men to do this under the sanctity of marriage to prevent either of the participants from committing a grave sin, according to religion.  However, this argument totally discounts the female’s sex drive and presumes incorrectly that only men have strong sexual urges.  

So in Islam, a woman who becomes a second wife (or third or fourth) is considered by many as doing an "honorable" thing.  But somehow I really don’t think there are too many first wives out there who would actually agree with that statement.   

My thoughts on this are that there are three possible situations where a woman might become a second wife:  

1 – She is a desperate divorcee or widow and wants the security for herself and her children.  

2 – She becomes a second wife unwittingly because the man wasn’t honest with her.   

3 – She actively pursues a married man because she sees that he is wealthy and she doesn’t care that she is destroying a marriage and a family in the process.  

I personally know of women here in Saudi Arabia fitting all of these scenarios.  To be continued…

Celebrating My Mom's Life: Trudy Johnson

My mom, Trudy Johnson, May 1925 - July 2012

Some of you have already heard about my mom Trudy's passing on from this world a few days ago at the age of 87. But many of you don't know what an extraordinary woman she was.

A friend just asked me what my mom's secret was - how exactly did she do it? Raising five kids all by herself, and all of us were motivated, with ambitions, and grew into successful productive adults. My friend wanted to know what she could do to instill these ethics and motivations in her own children.

My mom Trudy, age 5

The truth is, I really don't know how my mom did it. I think back to the those times, of the difficulties and challenges she was faced with, widowed in 1963 at age 38 and left to raise five kids all by herself, ranging in age from thirteen down to ten months. We had moved from New York City to the small border town of Douglas, Arizona, when I was just four - and seven short years later, we lost my dad. Even though both Mom's and Dad's families were back in New York and they begged her to move us all back there, she decided to stay in Arizona, feeling that it was a better place to raise her children. I can't imagine how different our lives may have been had she moved us back to NYC.

Our last family photo before my dad passed away in 1963.

I cannot say enough good things about Douglas, AZ. It was like we had this huge extended family around us. The town couldn't have been bigger than 15,000 people. I am so grateful that I grew up there. Even though it was culturally lacking in the types of events and activities that big cities have to offer, there was always plenty to do. Every summer, the Johnson kids went swimming, took tennis lessons, played on ball teams, and rode our bikes everywhere. We always had friends over to the house, and my brothers and I were in all the school plays and musicals and starred in those hilariously comical plays written by the fabulous Wynne Strom down at the church - the Johnson kids were such big hams that she actually wrote specific parts for us.

Christmas in Douglas, Arizona, 1958

My mom encouraged us to pursue our interests and she was a great believer in having a back-up plan. For example, my brother Barry wanted a career in music, so she insisted that he get his teaching degree so he could also teach voice, just in case. And Barry now does both - teaches and has a singing career. My brothers and I all had such diverse interests - we all went into such different careers and all chose such different paths in life.

The Johnson Clan starts growing, adding daughters-in-law and grandchildren - 1976

Mom supported us in whatever we wanted to do, never missing an event where one of us was performing, or graduating, or playing. She was even honored with a big trophy by the Little League Baseball team that all my brothers played on - she never missed a single ballgame in about 20 consecutive years, not even the week she gave birth to my baby brother. Of course, I kidded with her that she should have shared that trophy with me, because I too went to all of those ballgames to cheer on my brothers or to man the concession stand.

Backstage after one of my brother Barry's performances as Papageno in Mozart's The Magic Flute - Colorado, 1980s

She was involved in everything - PTA, several women's groups, church, Community Concerts, local politics, the Blood Bank - I can't even begin to name all the organizations she was a part of. She was always busy making costumes for this play or that, or hosting a meeting for one of her organizations. She was even named Lady of the Year in Douglas one year, and ran for mayor a few years later. But she narrowly lost. Probably a good thing.

I remember her picketing outside the local movie theater when they were going to raise the price of admission. And I remember that my brothers had a paper route, and she got up with them every morning at oh-dark-thirty, helped them fold the papers and bag them, and then drove them around the route as they threw the papers while hanging off the open back door of the station wagon. I know because I went many mornings myself with them. We were a family and we did things together. And my mom was a great role model for us all, teaching us to never give up, to finish whatever we started, and to go after our dreams.

My mom and dad's wedding in 1949, with her parents

My mom tried her best to treat each one of us equally so we didn't feel that she loved one of us more than the others, while at the same time making each of us feel special. At Christmas she made sure that each one of us kids had the same number of gifts to open. But then she withheld those gifts until we had written thank you cards to everyone. At Easter, she carefully counted out every jelly bean or chocolate egg so we all had the exact same number of candies in our baskets. At Thanksgiving, our house was the place to be, overrun with adults and kids alike, with mostly the families of teachers in Douglas - the Huddlestons, the Rehureks, the Pierces, and the Levras. Since we all had no other family in town, they became our family.

Mom with three of her grandkids in 2003

Our house was always filled with laughter and jokes, and many times Mom was the butt of those jokes. There were funny things that happened that she was never able to shake off - like the day we came home from school and saw her leg dangling down from a big hole in the living room ceiling and heard her yelling "Help me!" She had been putting away Christmas decorations and lost her footing. Luckily she didn't fall all the way through, but she couldn't wrangle her way out of there until we got home from school. I don't remember how long she had to dangle there like that, but we all sure got a lot of mileage out of that incident.

Getting silly with two of her grandsons

Another funny memory of Mom is the video we have of her on a family vacation to Disneyland. All of us kids were filmed enjoying the rides, eating, and laughing, but throughout the whole video, each time we filmed Mom, she was coming out of a different restroom. It was those darn water pills she had to take half of her life!

Family Reunion celebrating Mom's 70th birthday - 1995

Being in the travel business for many years, I feel fortunate that I was able to take Mom on some nice trips to Hawaii and Europe. But I never heard the end of it when I took my mom to Australia and she couldn't find her passport when we got to the airport to return home. I had to leave her in Australia to find her passport, and I came back all by myself. Luckily she found it and came back the next day, but boy, did I ever get ribbed for abandoning my mom in Australia.

Clowning around in Austria with family in 1989

And then there was the time when my daughter Shaune and I were both quite pregnant, and we brought Mom to my home when she had just been released from the hospital after having had back surgery. Somehow she fell down as she was entering my house, and Shaune and I couldn't lift her up. So she had to crawl all the way to the bedroom, and then Shaune and I pushed her up from behind onto the bed while we were all hysterically laughing. Ah, good times...

Mom with two of her grandsons in Washington

Growing up I knew we weren't rich, but she made sure we all had everything we needed even if she couldn't afford to get us all everything we wanted. She taught us to be thrifty. I remember during the summer when she would drop us kids off at the public pool and she gave us money for our admission plus an extra dime so we could call her on the pay phone when we were ready to be picked up. But we had a special code when we called - we would let the phone ring twice and hang up, and this was her signal to pick us up. That way, we got the dime back because the call wasn't completed.

At barely 5 feet tall, her sons towered over her

She was well known around town as the Avon Lady - she sold Avon for more than 30 years. I used to love helping her put together her orders, and I can still remember the smells of those boxes of products and those small samples of lipsticks, perfumes or creams she used to give me.

My mom wasn't known for her cooking prowess, but that was probably because she had a houseful of finicky eaters. We used to tease her about her lumpy mashed potatoes and her lumpy chocolate pudding, and then we'd tease her that they weren't lumpy enough. I remember when we had a guest over for dinner one night, and my brother Roy brought out a plate of leftover pancakes, telling the guest that it was my mom's attempt at making bread and to just eat it and say it's good so my mom wouldn't feel bad. Mom usually stuck a pot roast with potatoes in the oven that baked while we were at church on Sunday mornings - there was always plenty of food for the extra friends we inevitably invited home with us for lunch.

A smaller family reunion in 2011, all but one brother was present and accounted for.

She turned 87 this past May and since I couldn't be there with her to celebrate, I wanted to do something special for her that I knew she would appreciate. A few days before her birthday, I put a message out on my Facebook page calling on friends and family to wish her a Happy Birthday. I had my sister-in-law Sandy print off all of the messages and after the traditional family birthday dinner, everyone sat around the table and took turns reading aloud the more than 150 birthday greetings I had collected. Some remembered something special about her, and others remarked about how influential she had been in their lives. My mom was very touched and moved by all of the greetings from people in her past that she thought had long forgotten her. It was the best gift I could have given her. There are so many more wonderful memories I have of my mom. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.

My mom's 87th birthday in May 2012

At the end, her dementia had gotten worse and getting her meds at the right dosages was a real challenge. The side effects of the meds gave her terrible diarrhea and extreme tiredness. She always asked me when I was coming back, but the last two times we spoke, she didn't ask. She sounded like she had given up and was just ready to move on to the next life. She was admitted to the hospital with severe dehydration on Friday, July 6, 2012, went into kidney failure and was in a semi-comatose state. By the next day she seemed to be improving, producing urine which indicated that there wasn't any permanent kidney damage.

Family Reunion photo in 2003 in Gig Harbor, Washington

My brothers Roy and Barry live in the area, and they and their wives took shifts being with Mom. They played the music she loved from her favorite musicals - The King and I, Sound of Music, and Oklahoma. She had her eyes closed and she couldn't talk or sing, but she mouthed the words and moved her arms to the beat. I can just see her doing that. Mom passed on very peacefully in the wee hours of Sunday morning, July 8th. I am thankful that she went fast and didn't suffer and that Roy was with her at the time, to usher her gently into the next life where my Dad has been waiting almost 50 years for her. I'm sad that I couldn't be there with her at the end. It's hard living so far away - every time I would leave her these past few years to go back to Saudi Arabia, I always thought, is this going to be the last time I ever see her? And this time, it was.

Mom helping me celebrate my 60th birthday in October 2011

She was a very strong woman and had more common sense than anyone I've ever known. I will miss her pretty blue eyes (although she insisted they were green) and her sense of humor, which she had to have raising her five prankster children. Our mom never remarried and took great delight in all of her children's accomplishments - Roy, the oldest, now a retired airline pilot; Me, her only daughter and the cause for all her gray hair; Doug, a retired mining engineer and once mayor of his town; Gary, an author and a statistician with the NCAA; and Barry, the youngest, who is an opera singer and teaches voice. She also leaves behind 11 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. My mom always wanted a big family - she was a lonely, only child and longed to have a houseful of kids, which she got. Sometimes later in her life, when she was feeling rather useless as she aged, we needed to remind her what a wonderful job she did in raising us. Heck, not one of us has ever been in jail, and not one of us even smokes cigarettes! How did she do that?

4 generations - Mom, me, my daughter Shaune, my son Adam, and my granddaughter Kayla

We have chosen to have a "Celebration of Our Mom Trudy's Life" instead of a traditional funeral, and I think she would approve. This memorial service will be held on Friday, August 10th at 2pm at St. Luke's Episcopal Church, 3615 N. Gove Street in Tacoma, Washington. I am making plans to go the US in the next 2-3 weeks so I can be there with my family and my mom's friends to say goodbye to our amazing and extraordinary Trudy. All of my brothers and their wives and families will also be there, along with my own two kids and my granddaughter Kayla. My husband Adnan won't be able to come because it will be the middle of Ramadan, and it's quite difficult to travel such a distance when one is fasting. But I know he will be there with us all in spirit.

Trudy Johnson, still beautiful in her 80s

If there is any way that you can join us to celebrate our mother's life, we would love that. If you are in one of those hot places like Arizona, or Florida, or Texas, I must say that Tacoma is quite heavenly in August, and it would be a great respite for you from the heat of summer. And "heavenly" is a good way to describe the sendoff we will be giving our wonderful Mom.

Thank you all for your friendship, concern, and love that you have shown for my family and our very special Mom.

With love and peace -
Susie of Arabia / Susie Johnson Khalil

UPDATE: At Long Last, A Widow Leaves Saudi Arabia

AS A WIDOW ESCAPES WITH HER CHILDREN FROM SAUDI ARABIA AFTER BEING TRAPPED HERE FOR TEN YEARS, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS COUNTRY'S CONTROVERSIAL AND OUTDATED MALE GUARDIANSHIP SYSTEM.



Asima, the Western widow I had previously written about in a four-part series, whose Saudi husband passed away a decade ago, is no longer in Saudi Arabia. Although I am not at liberty to supply particulars, I can tell you that she and her two children are safely outside the country.

Because of the ages of her two children at the time of her husband's death and because of the way the Saudi system demands that every grown woman must have a legal male guardian, called a "mahram," the young mother and her children were trapped in Saudi Arabia for close to ten years by her husband's family. She would have been allowed to leave the country without her children, but she refused to do that. Luckily for her, her oldest child was a boy, and once he reached the required age, he became the legal guardian of his mother and his younger sister, enabling them to finally leave the country. Had her two children been girls, neither one of her daughters would have ever been able to leave this country without the permission of their legal Saudi male guardian.

Saudi Arabia's guardianship system has come under fire in the past few years, with more and more Saudi women speaking out and demanding their basic human rights to make their own decisions about their education, health care, business, marriage, careers, and travel. As the existing law stands right now, no Saudi woman can pursue her education, or work, or travel without the express consent of her mahram. Despite the fact that in June 2009, Saudi Arabia pledged to the U.N. Human Rights Council to put an end to the male guardianship system, to grant women their own full and separate legal identity, and to make gender discrimination illegal, very little progress has been made.

While many Saudi women are generously given these choices by their guardians, there are also many who are abused by the system and are denied a say in their own lives. This gender discrimination situation has been criticized by human rights groups that are upset that Saudi women are regarded as children in the eyes of Saudi law for their entire lives, with some even saying that Saudi women are considered to be no more than a man's property.

Sabria Jawhar, a respected Saudi journalist and named by Arabian Business Magazine as one of the world's most influential Arabs in its "2010 Power 100 list," wrote about an instance of abuse of the guardian system:
"It was reported recently that a Saudi woman protested that her father rejected several potential husbands because they did not belong to the family's tribe. The father confined her to the house as punishment and denied her outside employment. He even sent her to a mental institution when she continued her protests. She sued her father in court, but found herself at the wrong end of a tongue-lashing from the judge who said she did not respect her father. She now lives in a women's shelter."

Here is another article about what a young Canadian woman had to endure because of Saudi Arabia's guardianship system.

There are some Saudi women who are perfectly content with the way things are and believe that Saudi women are better off than Western women because of it. These women feel that since they are happy with the status quo, then all Saudi women must be happy. Last year in response to KSA's agreement to make changes in the guardian system, a group of privileged Saudi women spearheaded by two Princesses launched a campaign called "My Guardian Knows What's Best for Me," in favor of keeping the Saudi guardianship system intact. Within a couple of weeks, they had collected more than 5000 signatures. They are also opposed to socializing between opposite genders as well as being against men and women working together.

So while some Saudi women are speaking out to demand the right to make their own decisions on their own merits as perfectly capable adults, there is a counter-movement thwarting their efforts and citing religion, culture, customs, and traditions as their excuses for why things should remain the same. Some Saudi women activists, led by the country's most visible women's freedom fighter Wajeha al-Huwaider, have organized the Black Ribbon Campaign in protest of Saudi Arabia's male guardianship system. Al-Huwaider says, “I am an adult woman that has been earning my own income for over a decade now but according to the Saudi government, I am a dependent until the day I die because of my gender.”

Maybe the guardianship system was a good and logical idea back when it was first implemented many years ago, back when most Saudi girls never got past a 4th grade education before they were married off to an older cousin and started having babies. But today's Saudi woman is often times better educated, is arguably more motivated than her male counterpart, and with today's technology, she is much more aware of the basic human rights enjoyed by women around the world that she is being denied. Could it be that an independent and well-educated Saudi woman is considered a threat to the family, or as unwanted competition in the workplace to the Saudi man who has reigned unchallenged and has exercised unlimited control over all women in this country?

The guardianship system failed the widowed Asima, who along with her children, were basically held captive in Saudi Arabia for a decade, and it continues to fail the many other women who are routinely abused and denied the right to play a role in their own lives and destinies. Saudi Arabia should keep its promises that it made in June 2009 to the U.N. Human Rights Council. Set the women here free. It's time.

The haunting paintings of Saudi women in this post are by Saudi female artist Tagreed Al Bagshi. To me, Al Bagshi has captured the intimacy of life here for many Saudi women who seem to exist in a gilded cage: the boredom, the apathy, the loneliness, the despair, the lethargy, the sadness, the isolation, the hopelessness.
Visit Al Bagshi's website at: http://www.bagshiart.net/index.htm

All in a Day's Work

"Tighter Measures Urged Against Runaway Laborers" reads the headline of a recent Arab News article. The article elaborates about how runaway construction workers in Saudi Arabia have become quite a problem in getting construction jobs finished. Legal construction workers here are generally paid about 50 Saudi Riyals (about $12.50 US) for a day's work, whereas illegal runaway construction workers can make about 200 SR per day (about $50 US). Most of the money earned by foreign laborers in Saudi Arabia is wired to the workers' homelands and is not spent in Saudi Arabia and therefore doesn't contribute to its economy. Saudi men generally would never work as hard laborers, even though many Saudi men are currently unemployed - but many jobs are considered beneath a Saudi man's status, so foreign workers by the millions are brought to the country to perform these menial tasks. All of these workers, including many foreign women workers hired as domestic help, must have a legal sponsor.

Historically, Saudi employers have a reputation for mistreating, underpaying, and overworking unskilled foreign workers. Working conditions for many foreign workers have often been described as modern day slavery and their living conditions can also be deplorable. And sadly, there is little, if any, legal recourse or government protection for mistreated workers. White collar professionals, on the other hand, are generally treated quite well and have a totally different experience compared to those unskilled laborers from poorer countries. But even among the professionals, there can be marked discrepancies in wages and treatment depending on what country an employee is from. A professional engineer from the USA, for example, might be hired at a much higher salary and with better fringe benefits when compared to maybe an Indian national with the same education and experience.

I can't really speak from my personal experience on this subject, and fortunately the minimal number of housemaids and drivers I have come in contact with appear to be happy in their positions and have been treated well. However I have received several emails imploring me to speak up about this topic.

Another recent news story pertaining to controversial employment issues in Saudi Arabia also prompted the writing of this post as well. Despite the King of Saudi Arabia recently banning the issuance of "fatwas" (religious rulings) by religious sheikhs without first getting approval from the King's advisory panel called the Shoura Council, it seems Saudi Arabia has its own religious maverick who is openly defying this order. Sheikh Al Ahmed has called for a boycott of the large and popular supermarket chain called HyperPanda for its new experimental initiative of hiring Saudi female cashiers. He has even claimed that it is a Western plot to destroy good Muslim morals. In Saudi Arabia, women are generally restricted to work in mainly the education and medical fields, with few exceptions. Now mind you, Sheikh Al Ahmed only has the welfare of the poor women in mind - he's concerned that women working as cashiers in a public supermarket puts them in harm's way because they will come in contact with horny men customers who are unable to control themselves. (Okay, so I put this into my own words, but this is basically the reason.) What I don't understand is: When Saudi men travel to other places around the world, they are expected to behave themselves and follow the laws of the country. But when they are in their own country, they are NOT expected to be able to control themselves around women or follow the laws of their own land? And in addition, as good Muslims, aren't they supposed to treat women with respect and dignity?

To HyperPanda's credit, an executive of the company blew off the Sheikh's threats and they plan to continue their new program. And by the way, HyperPanda has implemented certain conditions for the hiring of these women cashiers: they must be Saudi women aged 28 or older; they must be in financial need, be divorced or widowed; and they must dress according to a dress code. HyperPanda should be commended and supported for what they are doing!

You can read more about this subject: about Sheikh Al Ahmed's background and record on women's issues on Saudi Woman's blog post about it, and on Qusay's blog, an interesting article about the unique challenges facing Saudi Arabia's new Minister of Labor.

UPDATE: Extra! Extra! Read all about it! News Headline on 8/26/2010 - Saudi Cleric Slammed Over Fatwa on Women Cashiers