Gender Segregation is Insulting!

Few things about life here in Saudi Arabia get me all riled up like the extreme gender segregation does.  It is one of the things that I dislike the most and one of the things that I feel does WAY more harm than good.

In my opinion, gender segregation is largely responsible for many of this country's social problems.  Gender segregation stunts healthy emotional growth.  The high divorce rate can be cited as a problem partially caused by gender segregation.  At puberty young boys and girls are suddenly separated socially from each other and there is no interaction with the opposite sex.  As a result many young people who marry do not know how to communicate, act or behave around the opposite sex.

Photo Credit: RealSociology.edublogs.org

Many young Saudi men are often accused of harassing women - and it's directly due to the way this society is set up with severe gender segregation, plus the lack of accountability for men and their actions.  Instead, this society usually chooses to put the blame on women by punishing them for men not being able to control themselves around fitna-inducing temptresses.

At the university level, young female students often fantasize, become obsessed with, and even fall in love with male professors who conduct classes for women from a remote location via closed circuit television.  I’ve heard many stories about how female students frequently pursue these male professors, who are often married, much older, and not even particularly attractive.

And now the latest issue regarding gender segregation has come about involving two women who were elected to the municipal council in Jeddah.  These women were elected to their positions, just like the men on the council were.  Yet there is an anti-women crusade going on to prevent these women from taking their rightful positions on the council alongside their male colleagues.  

This faction is trying to preclude these duly elected female officials from participating effectively on the council, marginalizing the women by forcing them to sit outside the council chambers, like children who are being punished, instead of full-fledged elected members of the board. 
  
Seriously? Women in Saudi Arabia achieved a major milestone when they were allowed to vote and run for public office for the first time in their lives in December 2015 - a HUGE step forward for Saudi women.  But now others are trying to prevent them from effectively carrying out their duties.  Gender segregation carried to such an extreme like this is not only insulting to the women, it is extremely insulting to the men on the council who are being perceived as incapable of being trusted or of controlling themselves around a couple of female colleagues and incapable of seeing women as anything other than sexual objects. 

To make matters worse and to exemplify the severity of this extreme gender segregation, the two councilwomen, Lama Al-Suleiman and Rasha Hefzi, have now received death threats for attempting to take their rightful place at the meetings.  Fortunately there has been support for the women from the community, but there are some who oppose them.  
  
Don’t miss these two articulate opinion pieces recently written by a couple of Saudi women about this very subject:

“Saudi Women’s Work and Challenges in the Council Just Starting” by Maha Akeel

“Women’s Empowerment” by Nabeela Husni Mahjoub

First Wives Club

I used to be able to count on one hand the number of women I personally know whose Saudi husbands married a second wife.  Those days are gone.  Sadly now that number exceeds all the fingers on both hands and all of my toes as well.  As many of you know, Saudi Arabia is governed by Sharia Law which comes from the Quran, the holy book of Islam.  Islam allows men to be married to up to four different women at the same time. 

Muslim scholars and Muslim men seem to be proud of the fact that the Quran is the only holy book that actually states “Marry only one (wife).”  I hear them boast about this all the time!  Why then are so many Muslim men taking on more than wife?  I find this amusing, since polygyny is permitted in Islam but not encouraged.  I just hate it when I hear men here saying that it is their God-given right.  Pfffft!

The original idea for this arrangement is centuries old and was borne out of the necessity of the times.  Men would go off to war, get killed, and there was an abundance of widows and orphans left behind that needed to be protected and provided for.  It was affirmed to be man's “social responsibility,” which begs the question:  Why exactly does a man have to marry a second woman to fulfill his social responsibility?  Especially when the Quran clearly says "Marry only one"???  Aren’t there other socially acceptable ways to provide for needy people other than marriage?  How about charity?  Why do men have to introduce sex into the equation in order to fulfill their social responsibility?

Many Muslim men like to make the claim that there are SO many more women in the world than men, and while that may have been the case centuries ago, statistically speaking, this is no longer a valid argument.  In today’s world, all recent statistics clearly show that men now outnumber women in births (107 to 100) and in the world population (101 to 100).

Yes, there are some countries in the world where women outnumber men, but in the total overall, there are more men.  And Saudi Arabia – where men can marry up to four women - is one of the majority countries that actually has more men than women - so this contention just doesn't hold water any more.

Another reason given for why polygyny is allowed in Islam is to allow a man whose wife cannot bear children to marry another woman who can have babies so he can produce heirs.  The problem with this assertion is that frequently the man is the one with fertility problems - so this excuse for multiple wives should at least have a provision that the man should be checked first to make sure he is not the one with sterility problems - don't cha think?  

 

I’ve even heard proponents of the multiple wives policy come up with the reasoning that there are so many gay men in the world - so obviously gay men don't count as eligible men in the marriage pool.  Hello?  They always seem to overlook the fact that there are also plenty of lesbians in the world too who don’t want to marry men either.  Moot point.  

And probably the most "honest" excuse I have heard for why polygyny is allowed in Islam is because men just naturally have a stronger sex drive and want to have sex with a variety of women.  So polygyny allows men to do this under the sanctity of marriage to prevent either of the participants from committing a grave sin, according to religion.  However, this argument totally discounts the female’s sex drive and presumes incorrectly that only men have strong sexual urges.  

So in Islam, a woman who becomes a second wife (or third or fourth) is considered by many as doing an "honorable" thing.  But somehow I really don’t think there are too many first wives out there who would actually agree with that statement.   

My thoughts on this are that there are three possible situations where a woman might become a second wife:  

1 – She is a desperate divorcee or widow and wants the security for herself and her children.  

2 – She becomes a second wife unwittingly because the man wasn’t honest with her.   

3 – She actively pursues a married man because she sees that he is wealthy and she doesn’t care that she is destroying a marriage and a family in the process.  

I personally know of women here in Saudi Arabia fitting all of these scenarios.  To be continued…

Don't Miss It! Head Over Heels in Saudi Arabia

Dr. Maisah Sobaihi (photo: Vimeo)

"Head Over Heels in Saudi Arabia" is a one-woman comedy show written and performed by Dr. Maisah Sobaihi, exploring the lives and loves of Saudi women with humor and insight.  I had the pleasure of seeing this delightful show and writing about it several years ago in 2008.  For my review and synopsis of the play, please click HERE.  Since that time, Sobaihi has repeated her performance many times, and this week she is doing it again.

WHERE:  EFFAT UNIVERSITY AUDITORIUM in JEDDAH - GATE 13


WHEN:     MONDAY, FEB. 18 (in ENGLISH) and 
                  TUESDAY, FEB. 19 (in ARABIC)

TIME:       8:30 PM 

MEN AND WOMEN ARE WELCOME, BUT WITH SEPARATE SEATING
 
PRICE:     250 SR

BUY TICKETS AT 

Head Over Heels In Saudi Arabia - 3-Minute Promo Video from Maisah Sobaihi on Vimeo.

Kuwaiti Bimbo Wants Return of Sex Slaves

I guess I was paying too much attention to Anthony Weiner's wiener story to notice when the subject of this post broke two weeks ago about a Kuwaiti Muslim woman who sees no problem at all with legalizing sex slavery in Kuwait.


In her twisted mind, Salwa al-Mutairi, a well-known television hostess and a thankfully unsuccessful candidate for the Kuwaiti Parliament, illogically rationalizes that sex slavery is perfectly acceptable in Islam. She claims that it is a way to legitimize men's sexual relations outside of marriage without it being considered a sin, thereby preventing adultery. Not missing a beat, al-Mutairi further suggested in a recent video that imprisoned non-Muslim Western women from war-torn countries like Chechnya could be kidnapped and considered the spoils of war and could be sold as sex slaves to fill the needs of lusty sex-crazed Kuwaiti Muslim men. And not only that, she also went on to say that these poor women should happily welcome their new roles as sex slaves instead of starving to death in prisons. (I swear I'm not making this up!)

To give credence to her argument, al-Mutairi cited the example of Harun al-Rashid, the renowned Caliph of Baghdad, who ruled there from 786 to 809. Harun al-Rashid’s escapades became legendary in the tales of the "Thousand and One Arabian Nights,” where it is said that when he died, he had acquired a whopping 2000 concubines. Justifying her opinion with the al-Rashid illustration, al-Mutairi said, “I don’t see any problem in this, no problem at all.”

Al-Mutairi's irrational arguments for promoting sex slaves for Muslim men only further demonstrates the great chasm in the disparity of the attitude that exists between stereotypical radical Muslims and the rest of the world. In fact, this latest outrageous idea of hers has been called “a gift to Muslim haters,” has provided juicy fodder for Islamophobes, and has caused al-Mutairi to be labeled “Kuwait’s version of Ann Coulter.” Bloggers and Tweeters have labeled al-Mutairi “a disgrace to women everywhere,” suggested that she herself be treated like war booty and become a sex slave, and have attacked her declaration that sex slaves are acceptable in Islam, which is a disputable topic of debate .

Clearly this backward Kuwaiti bimbo is doing no favors for Islam or Muslims everywhere, not to mention how her opinion sets back the slow moving vision of progress for women’s rights in the Middle East region. No doubt the vast majority of Muslims don’t agree with this moronic woman. It’s just unfortunate that she’s the one getting all the attention.



Here are some additional articles and opinion pieces about this story:

Salwa al-Mutairi: A Gift to Muslim-Haters - by Shelina Zahra Janmohamed (Mideast Posts)

The curious case of the woman who thinks sex slaves will stop Arab men from committing adultery – by Muna Khan (Al Arabiya News)

Muslim Woman Seeks to Revive Institution of Sex-Slavery – by Raymond Ibrahim (Middle East Forum - FrontPageMagazine.com)

Female activist calls for legalizing sex slavery – by A Saleh (Kuwait Times)

Men should be allowed sex slaves and female prisoners could do the job - and all this from a WOMAN politician from Kuwait (Mail Online - DailyMail.co.uk)

PeePee and VaJayJay Airport Design Comes Under Fire

When you watch this video, you might think that this is a big joke or a comedy sketch, but what's really sad about this is that this Saudi religious cleric is totally serious. I've said before that many men in Saudi Arabia, including the religious leaders, seem to equate everything in the world somehow to sex and see phallic symbols everywhere. The strict segregation of the sexes here creates depraved and unhealthy views about sex. I'm sure that there wouldn't be such an obsession and focus on sex here in the Kingdom if the men weren't so sexually repressed. Reasons for why women can't drive, reasons for this and reasons for that - everything always seems to boil down to sex. This video gives you an idea of the type of twisted thinking there is in something as simple as the design of a proposed new airport in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. There is also a tie-in to this being a Western conspiracy as well. Oh brother!

Here is the website for the new King Abdulaziz International Airport project.

Cultural Differences

Voice Behind the Veil...

The essay in this post was reprinted from E Islam, a website that strives "to provide general motivational and spiritually enriching articles about Islam and Muslims in general." The author of the article, Khadijah Natalie Arbee, explains her reason for writing about the discourse regarding Muslim women's clothing which has been the topic of discussion for a while now: "In light of the recent bans being pushed by France, Syria, etc., I felt a strong need, as a one of the women being targeted, to speak up. Below is an article that I have compiled, and I pray to Allah Ta’ala that He use it anywhere, and anyhow to enlighten whomever He wills."

A VOICE BEHIND A VEIL

By Khadijah Natalie Arbee

I am a Muslim woman.
I wear the niqaab (face veil).

I'm one of those to whom the new law in France would apply.
I'm one of the ones being discussed by politicians, human rights groups and the media.
I'm one of those whom many feel the need to liberate.
I'm one of those you may think is oppressed.
I'm one of those many of you detest the sight of…
I'm one of those whom you may believe is uneducated; one of the ones you may think has no voice.

But I do. So let me speak.

I am not Arab, Asian or even African. I am Australian. No, not 'first generation', 'second generation', or an immigrant. On my mother's side, I'm of French-Canadian descent, and on my father's side; British. I grew up as a Christian, and attended church occasionally. I was in the school swim team, and district netball team. I holidayed with my family in the summer on the Gold Coast, and I'm educated. I have a university degree.

When I was 18 years of age I was introduced to Islam. I studied it, and accepted it a year and a half later. By the time I reached 20, I was wearing the headscarf, and after I married I donned the niqaab.

Because of my husband? No.
My husband did not want me to wear it, although his mother and sister do, and out of respect for his wishes I didn't do so for two years. But I wanted to, and eventually did, and knowing it to be in line with our religion, my husband knew he had no authority to prevent me, and he now greatly admires my strength.

Then, I wore it because of my father? No. He's a catholic.
Because of my brother? Nope, haven't got one.
My uncle? He's an atheist.
Then because of my son? My eldest is only 8 years old. Then why??
Because I want to, that's why.

And seeing as though my niqaab does not hurt anyone, that should be sufficient reason for all of you liberals of a liberal society; I should be able to finish my discussion right here. But although it may be so for any other style of dress, it isn't enough when it comes to niqaab for some reason. You want more. So I will continue.

What makes me want to then? Two things: Faith and experience.

Faith? Yeah, faith. Faith in my Creator, faith in His decisions, faith in Islam. A deep faith. Many wonder at the faith of Muslims, at their conviction and their commitment. It's a faith, that if you are not Muslim, is hard to explain or describe. The scripture of Islam, the Qur'an has scientific miracles in it, such that have captivated scientists globally, leading many to accept Islam. Moreover, the Qur'an has not been changed in over a thousand years, since it was revealed; not one letter moved from its place. I dare say there isn't a religious scripture like it, and this lends a clue as to the root of such faith.

In the Qur'an, Allah Ta'ala tells us to cover ourselves, 'so as to be known, but not molested.' So our covering is a protection; a liberation.

Protection, you ask? Liberation? From what?

This is where I move on to my second reason for veiling. Like I said, I grew up in a Western secular society, in true Western secular style. I dressed secular, lived secular, and enjoyed all the 'liberties' of such a society. Did I feel liberated, free? Suffice to say, we were taught we were, so I never thought to think otherwise. It wasn't until I became Muslim, and started covering, that I really felt liberated, and realised, before that I wasn't.

Yet, time and time again we hear it said that we Muslim women are forced to veil, are oppressed; treated by our men folk as nothing more than 'objects.' And that niqaab, burqa, hijab; whatever term you use, is a form of 'imprisonment.'

But what about the imprisonment of anxiety and depression?
What about the imprisonment of anorexia and bulimia?
What about the imprisonment of frequent rigorous exercise routines?
What about the imprisonment of always feeling the need to look like the super-model on the cover of Cosmo, or the pop-singer in the music video?
What about the slavery to fashion?
What about the entrapment of jealousy??

How many women waste their hard-earned money, destroy their physical and mental health, expose their bodies to vulnerability, abuse and extortion in order to…… in order to what??

In order to gain approval and praise. Who's approval and praise? Men's.

And yes, it seems even other women too. So it seems non-Muslim women are not only slaves to men, but slaves to society as a whole.

Before you scream your disagreement, which many of you may do as a knee-jerk reaction to being told you're also oppressed, stop and think. Look around you, contemplate society today, and its values, its aspirations, its goals, its direction, its past times, its hobbies….

What good has it done for women to doff more and more clothing?
What good has it done for images of uncovered made-up women to be plastered on every billboard and magazine, on the TV, in the movies, and on the net?
Has it really brought any good for women?

The women in the images may aptly feel good about themselves for a while, but what does it mean for every other woman?

Women who look upon these images usually become anxious, jealous, unsure and critical of themselves, or all of these things. Many men who view them will become aroused, or even unhappy, less satisfied with the partners they already have. What can, and does this lead to?

Cheating, dumping, chastisement, and even harassment of other women, and even children by, men who cannot find a legitimate outlet for their constant arousal. And yes, I can hear some of you: 'then the men must control themselves!' Frankly speaking that argument is well spent, not to mention futile, as most men are, inherently, only able to react to that, the same way a hungry lion would react if thrown a juicy piece of steak, and told not to eat it….

Do the uncovered women captured in these images and industries, or parading around, realise or even care how many young girls are starving, purging and stressing themselves trying to mirror their image? No.

It seems they even take perverse pleasure in it. One barely-dressed singer even boldly and crudely sung recently, 'Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?'

What?! What is this woman and her ilk saying?? What are they implying?? What are they doing to their sisters in humanity??!

So many poor girls, eroding themselves physically and mentally as they watch with jealousy and anxiety their partners ogle singers like this. Have the same thing occur to these women, these 'idols.' Have their partners swoon over another similarly attired, and witness their reaction! And when their daughters are molested by men they themselves, or women like them, have aroused, will they reflect?
Will they act? Will society act?
Yeah, we see it reacting: Ban the burqa!

It just amazes me how many women especially, despise my choice of dress. Yet, would they rather their husband's secretary to be dressed like me or otherwise?
Would they rather the waitress serving the table at their anniversary dinner, be dressed like me or otherwise?
Is it me and my sisters who are turning their husband's head, or attracting their boyfriends??
Is it me and my sisters who have led their daughters to anorexia, or their sons to pornography?
Is it me and my sisters whose bodies and faces solicit their husband's/boyfriend's attention on every corner? Is it me and my sisters who have aroused that man to rape or harass their sisters?

Whose mode of 'dress' is truly oppressive and harmful to women??

So now I've spoken, and although I am one, I speak on behalf of hundreds. I've explained to you that the majority of us have chosen this mode of dress, especially in the West. I have told you that we love it, we want it, and I've exemplified for you the inherent good in it.

So to those of you who really are so concerned about 'liberating' me, then you will listen to what I have said, and let me and my sisters be.

Posted by E ISLAM at 12:23am Thursday, September 16, 2010.

All in a Day's Work

"Tighter Measures Urged Against Runaway Laborers" reads the headline of a recent Arab News article. The article elaborates about how runaway construction workers in Saudi Arabia have become quite a problem in getting construction jobs finished. Legal construction workers here are generally paid about 50 Saudi Riyals (about $12.50 US) for a day's work, whereas illegal runaway construction workers can make about 200 SR per day (about $50 US). Most of the money earned by foreign laborers in Saudi Arabia is wired to the workers' homelands and is not spent in Saudi Arabia and therefore doesn't contribute to its economy. Saudi men generally would never work as hard laborers, even though many Saudi men are currently unemployed - but many jobs are considered beneath a Saudi man's status, so foreign workers by the millions are brought to the country to perform these menial tasks. All of these workers, including many foreign women workers hired as domestic help, must have a legal sponsor.

Historically, Saudi employers have a reputation for mistreating, underpaying, and overworking unskilled foreign workers. Working conditions for many foreign workers have often been described as modern day slavery and their living conditions can also be deplorable. And sadly, there is little, if any, legal recourse or government protection for mistreated workers. White collar professionals, on the other hand, are generally treated quite well and have a totally different experience compared to those unskilled laborers from poorer countries. But even among the professionals, there can be marked discrepancies in wages and treatment depending on what country an employee is from. A professional engineer from the USA, for example, might be hired at a much higher salary and with better fringe benefits when compared to maybe an Indian national with the same education and experience.

I can't really speak from my personal experience on this subject, and fortunately the minimal number of housemaids and drivers I have come in contact with appear to be happy in their positions and have been treated well. However I have received several emails imploring me to speak up about this topic.

Another recent news story pertaining to controversial employment issues in Saudi Arabia also prompted the writing of this post as well. Despite the King of Saudi Arabia recently banning the issuance of "fatwas" (religious rulings) by religious sheikhs without first getting approval from the King's advisory panel called the Shoura Council, it seems Saudi Arabia has its own religious maverick who is openly defying this order. Sheikh Al Ahmed has called for a boycott of the large and popular supermarket chain called HyperPanda for its new experimental initiative of hiring Saudi female cashiers. He has even claimed that it is a Western plot to destroy good Muslim morals. In Saudi Arabia, women are generally restricted to work in mainly the education and medical fields, with few exceptions. Now mind you, Sheikh Al Ahmed only has the welfare of the poor women in mind - he's concerned that women working as cashiers in a public supermarket puts them in harm's way because they will come in contact with horny men customers who are unable to control themselves. (Okay, so I put this into my own words, but this is basically the reason.) What I don't understand is: When Saudi men travel to other places around the world, they are expected to behave themselves and follow the laws of the country. But when they are in their own country, they are NOT expected to be able to control themselves around women or follow the laws of their own land? And in addition, as good Muslims, aren't they supposed to treat women with respect and dignity?

To HyperPanda's credit, an executive of the company blew off the Sheikh's threats and they plan to continue their new program. And by the way, HyperPanda has implemented certain conditions for the hiring of these women cashiers: they must be Saudi women aged 28 or older; they must be in financial need, be divorced or widowed; and they must dress according to a dress code. HyperPanda should be commended and supported for what they are doing!

You can read more about this subject: about Sheikh Al Ahmed's background and record on women's issues on Saudi Woman's blog post about it, and on Qusay's blog, an interesting article about the unique challenges facing Saudi Arabia's new Minister of Labor.

UPDATE: Extra! Extra! Read all about it! News Headline on 8/26/2010 - Saudi Cleric Slammed Over Fatwa on Women Cashiers

Here - Drink This!

Warning: Please go to the bathroom to relieve yourself BEFORE reading this post. I don't want to be responsible for you wetting yourself... don't say I didn't warn you.

Just when you thought some things couldn't get any more bizarre in this part of the world than they already are, a learned Saudi cleric, Sheikh Abdul Mohsen Al-Obeikan, is doing some quick backpedaling after publicly supporting a fatwa (religious ruling) which basically says that it's okay for working women to breastfeed male co-workers, as this would be a legitimate way of getting around gender segregation in the workplace here in Saudi Arabia.

Three years ago, an Egyptian sheikh caused quite an international ruckus when he was asked in a televised interview about whether it was acceptable for an adult male to drink the milk from a lactating female co-worker in order to establish a maternal bond of sorts, thereby precluding the strict gender segregation rule in the workplace. As if the question itself wasn't bizarre enough, the fact that he answered a resounding "YES!" was enough to provoke widespread shock and disbelief, as well as plenty of head shaking and hair pulling.

According to Islam, if a nursing mother breastfeeds an infant who is not her own on five separate occasions, a legally recognized familial bond is established between the two of them, plus the nursing donor's immediate family. This means that if the child is a male, when he grows up, the gender segregation issue does not come into play - meaning that the woman and her daughters would not have to cover up around him and they can socialize together. Apparently this is done frequently in Saudi families between sisters so that gender segregation won't affect the families getting together once their children are grown, since all the cousins would then be considered "milk siblings." At the same time, it also means that these cousins would not be allowed to marry each other, as is often done within Saudi families. This also implies that there would logically be no chance of any illicit sexual relations between any of them since that would be incest.

This milking bond came into question last year when 75-year-old Syrian widow, Khamisa Mohammed Sawadi, who was living in Saudi Arabia, was arrested and sentenced to 4 months in prison and 40 lashes because two young men (one of them her "milk" son) entered her residence bearing several loaves of bread. The two young men were also arrested and sentenced to about the same punishment as the old woman. The last I read about this case was in December 2009 stating that all appeals were denied for all three and that the sentences stand. I have to admit that at 50-something, it might be hard to believe that the woman actually breastfed her husband's nephew. But why on earth would it be a crime in the first place to be kind and considerate to an elderly woman? Something is seriously wrong for this to be a crime.

Sheikh Al-Obiekan seemed to think that drinking a woman's pumped breastmilk out of a glass and not suckling directly from the woman's breast is a perfectly reasonable and acceptable way to skirt around and avoid the strict religious ban on gender mixing in this society. But in a bizarre twist to this already unbelievable story, another equally intelligent and enlightened religious scholar and voice of reason disagreed with that (don't get too excited just yet!). This other guy said that the milk should be suckled right from the woman's breast! Forget the fact that Islam also says that nursing should be done during the first two years of a child's life and mentions nothing at all about the ridiculous notion of woman nursing a grown man.

I'm just trying to imagine a prim and proper Saudi woman here covered in black from head to toe whipping out her breast - five separate times, mind you - and offering it to an unrelated man just so she can legally work with him! The whole image is just so absurd. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Don’t these religious scholars have more important issues to worry about than to continually fantasize about womens' breasts? And what exactly are they trying to do to Muslim women? And how is the woman's husband supposed to take all of this?

SaudiWoman wrote a great post which documents the Arabic newspaper articles covering this story.

Muslim Male Humor - Just Not Funny...

My hubby has been having some health complaints lately so I made him go in to go the doctor. The doctor we usually go to is Syrian but he doesn't speak much English, so when we go, Adnan always has to interpret for me to tell me what the doctor is saying or asking.

I sat there while the doctor talked to Adnan, checked him over, ran an EKG, looked at the results, and talked to Adnan some more. This doctor obviously likes my husband a lot and vice versa. At one point the doctor said something to my husband in Arabic and they both burst out laughing - I mean REALLY laughing, like that knee slapping, good ole boy kind of laughing. Adnan looked at me and told me that he would fill me in later. I figured it had to be something related to sex, as almost everything in this place seems to be...

We walked to the lab down the hall from the doctor's office and my husband had some blood drawn. Later that evening we were supposed to go back for the results of the blood test. When we were driving home, I asked Adnan what was so funny in the doctor's office. He said "Oh nothing," but I persisted and finally got him to tell me the reason for their big outburst of laughter. With this medical issue that my husband has, the doctor has told him not to do anything too strenuous or too physical for the time being - get my drift? - and then the doctor chimed in with, "You weren't planning on marrying another one, were you?" N-yuck, n-yuck, n-yuck! (knee slap) Ha, ha, ha...! (For anyone who isn't aware, Muslim men are allowed four wives according to Islam.)

Needless to say, I failed to see the humor. I told Adnan that I thought it was unprofessional, rude and insensitive for the doctor to say that with me sitting right there. The doctor knew that I didn't understand him. Would he have said that if I were Saudi or if I spoke Arabic?

So when we went back later that evening to get the test results, we sat down in the doctor's office. He looked over the test results and talked to my husband a bit, and then my husband looked at me and said, "Whew! He says I'm going to live!" The doctor then started to write out a prescription for my husband and seemed to have a problem remembering my hubby's name, calling him Abdul-Rahman.

I picked up on this mistake without my husband having to translate, so I told my husband, "Well, maybe YOU'RE not the one who's going to live after all. Maybe Abdul-Rahman is!" When Adnan translated what I had said to the doctor, I never saw anyone turn so bright red in my life! He blubbered all over himself going overboard trying to reassure Adnan that those were indeed his test results. Good ole boys indeed... hmmmm.

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Acouple of weeks ago, one of the religious leaders here in Saudi Arabia declared a fatwa (a religious ruling) which demands the death penalty for people in the Kingdom who condone or promote gender mixing within the country. In particular, Sheikh Abdul-Rahman al-Barrak, 77, denounced men and women working together because it would encourage "sight of what is forbidden, and forbidden talk between men and women." With the opening last fall of KAUST (the innovative King Abdullah University of Sciences and Technology), where the progressive King's vision came to fruition in a place where highly educated men and women work and attend classes together, it appears as though this Sheikh is taking aim at the King himself. Not a very smart thing to do. Especially in view of the fact that last October the King took the action of promptly firing a top Islamic cleric after he spouted off against the mixing of the sexes at KAUST.

The Sheikh's website, albarrak.islamlight.net, has been blocked from viewing now within the country. But allegedly, using modern technology to his advantage, he merely opened up under another website.

There has been a backlash of objections from many people here who want to see progress and change in this ultra-conservative religious country, with fellow blogger Ahmed al-Omran of SaudiJeans calling the Sheikh a "caveman" and Saudi female blogger Eman al-Nafjan of SaudiWoman condemning Al-Barrak as "the last living member of the traditional, misogynist eighties rat pack of sheikhdom" and aptly branding his type of barbaric thinking as "Gender Apartheid."


However, about thirty other conservative clerics rushed to Al-Barrak's defense by signing a petition upholding their support of his ruling in favor of strict gender segregation.

The greatest fear among these religious scholars is that mixing of the sexes socially here in Saudi Arabia, in the work force, or in education will result in rampant fornication and other immoral behavior. Here are a couple of more quotes from Al-Barrak taken from this Reuters article: "Whoever allows this mixing ... allows forbidden things, and whoever allows them is an infidel, and this means defection from Islam ... Either he retracts or he must be killed ... because he disavows and does not observe the Sharia ... Anyone who accepts that his daughter, sister or wife works with men or attends mixed-gender schooling cares little about his honour, and this is a type of pimping."    Really? This guy is actually calling Saudi men who allow their female relatives to work or attend school side by side with other unrelated men PIMPS!!!

For those of you who read my blog regularly, you know that one of the things that I really dislike about living here is the gender segregation. Going to a family function, or a wedding, or some other kind of party where there are only women allowed or where I am separated from my husband and my son upon arrival is not my idea of fun. It's okay once in a while, but time after time after time, it gets really old for me. I admit it - I enjoy being in the company of BOTH men and women! And the fact that people here cannot be trusted on their own to conduct themselves with the utmost of decorum and virtue - despite all the morality that is drilled into them from birth - so much so that there is a need for religious police to enforce strict moral codes and punish those who do not adhere to the rules - is just beyond my comprehension.

Muslims in other parts of the world seem to successfully incorporate living and working amongst the opposite sex without much trouble or fanfare. Why can't it be that simple here in Saudi Arabia? It's more than just religion at play here - it is deeply engrained in the culture, and there is a long way to go to bring this country into the 21st century with regard to its social limitations on both men and women (but mostly on women). The people here have been brainwashed by so many lop-sided images about the decadent and immoral West that there is a mentality of great fear for change or opening up this society to more freedom. My take on the whole situation is that the social restrictions placed on the people here are extremely insulting to the Saudis and make the assumption that the Saudi people simply cannot control their animalistic urges and conduct themselves accordingly. The Saudi people are better than that. All they need is a chance to prove it.