From Florida to Jeddah — Women on the Road

I just realized that I failed to post about an updated interview I did with "Women on the Road" back in March 2018. My original interview was done in about 2010. 

A lot has happened here in Saudi Arabia since I first moved here in 2007, and a lot has happened even since this updated interview 2 short years ago.  To me it's really interesting to realize all the changes that have occurred in just my short blip of time spent living here in Saudi Arabia.  I hope you find it interesting too and that you enjoy reading it!  Here it is - 

A former police officer and travel industry professional, Susie Khalil’s American life changed dramatically in 2007 when she followed her Saudi Arabian husband back to his homeland — where she has lived ever since. Her award-winning blog Susie’s Big Adventure (now Susie of Arabia) was once banned; it sheds some light on life in one of the world’s most closed countries. Around 2010 (give or take a year) Women on the Road interviewed Susie, but updated the interview in 2018. The original 2010 interview is at the bottom of this story.

EDITOR'S NOTE. Since the 2018 update, much has happened in Saudi Arabia: Jamal Khashoggi was assassinated; women have been allowed to drive and in some cases travel without a male guardian; Saudi Arabia now issues tourist visas and is letting foreigners visit. It’s impossible to know how powerful, positive or long-lasting any changes will be, but it is a backdrop against which to view Saudi Arabia.

Susie of Arabia: An Update (March 2018)

It’s been ten years now since I first set foot in Saudi Arabia. Hard to believe because I always said I could never see myself here long term, but somehow that has changed. I love my life in this country. I know it’s not what a lot of people want to hear because of what they believe about Saudi Arabia. But the truth is my husband is very good to me and I consider myself a very lucky woman.  My social life here in Jeddah is far more active and full than when I spend my summers back in the US. There are always things to do and I find myself just as fascinated with this country, its people, and its culture as when I first moved here. I feel very safe and I have wonderful friends from all over the world.

With all the changes that are rapidly happening in this country, this is a very exciting time to be here. Things have been slowly changing for several years, but now things really seem to be picking up speed. The younger generation has had the opportunity to grow up with modern technology, so they have been exposed to the outside world a lot more than previous generations.  They want change. They want more normal lives, like they see in other countries — and the Crown Prince MBS is trying to make that happen. I, and many others here, have great hope that he will succeed and that Saudi Arabia will emerge as the modern and moderate country it seems to want to be, once the dust settles in the next few years. The Crown Prince has the support of the younger generation — and the future of Saudi Arabia is in their hands.

(To continue reading, CLICK HERE)

"Historic Jeddah" Documentary Film Trailer

"Historic Jeddah" is a documentary film produced and directed by Jameelah Rose del Prado Liness, a Filipino filmmaker and film instructor who was born and raised in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.  Her documentary is the only film from Saudi Arabia chosen as an official selection in the upcoming International Film Festival Manhattan from October 22 through 25 in New York City.

Her film is up for two awards: The Best Documentary Film and The Best Documentary (Short) Film. Another category she is hoping to win is the Most Popular Film in IFFM.

In order for her film to win in the Most Popular Film category at the film festival, you can help by watching her trailer.  The more times you watch it, the more votes her film will get.  If you do watch it more than once, please Refresh your Page each time first instead of just hitting Replay.

As you can imagine, film-making in Saudi Arabia is not an easy undertaking.  There are strict privacy laws which, if violated, can quickly land one in prison, not to mention governmental bureaucracy and red tape.  And just being a female in Saudi Arabia adds yet another layer of complicated cultural issues.  Throw into the mix the fact that there are no public movie theaters in Saudi Arabia (although the latest movies can be watched on pirated DVDs bought off the street) and one can see that there are many obstacles to overcome if someone wishes to produce a film within Saudi Arabia.

Here is what Jameelah had to say about her experiences with film-making in KSA -

When I was doing my thesis film, I chose to do a documentary. I flew to Jeddah to shoot my film. I had nobody to help me. I had no crew. It was just me and my mom. It was very challenging and rewarding, but at the same time uncomfortable. I remember that I had to pause/stop recording every time people came into the frame, especially if it was a woman. I was uncomfortable because I always had to look and check if it was okay for me to shoot or not. My mom would tell me if somebody was coming, and I would have to stop recording. My mom also carried some of my equipment while I filmed.

It was particularly very tough shooting outdoors. I am always concerned about whether someone might take my camera from me and confiscate it, or worse, smash it. This resulted in my outdoor footage becoming unsteady and very short. I had a difficult time editing it. I have already made 3 documentaries about Saudi Arabia.

The first time I ever watched in a movie theater was when I first went to the US in June 2011. The first movie I ever watched in a movie theater was Harry Potter the Deathly Hallows Part 2. I was 18 at that time. The second time I watched inside a movie theater was a year after that. I'm not really used to going to the movies and somehow, growing up in Saudi Arabia, I prefer to watch movies on my laptop or on TV.  I have only been to a movie theater twice in my life at the moment. It is quite ironic since I make films and yet I don't really go to the movies frequently.

Jameelah is a graduate of the New York Film Academy in New York City.  At the moment, she is a freelance filmmaker doing production works in Jeddah and she also teaches film-making privately.  She offers a 4 week or 8 week film-making program.  If you have any inquiries regarding her classes, you can email her at :   jameelah.lineses@nyfa.edu 

My InterNations Interview

InterNations is a great tool and support system for expats around the world.  With communities in almost 400 cities worldwide, InterNations provides a way for people working in foreign countries to socialize and network.  It also provides information useful for living in and adapting to another country. 

I am the featured blogger on InterNations this month.  CLICK HERE to read my interview.  I hope you enjoy it!

Susie of Arabia (Photo Credit: Blue Abaya)

Paranoia or Greed?

Many foreign expat workers who come to Saudi Arabia endure, among other hardships, isolation, stressful living and working conditions, severe climate, and separation from their families, sometimes for years.  Saudi Arabia is now exploring yet another way to make these conditions even more difficult - by threatening to ban internet social communications platforms to make it harder for people to communicate with their loved ones outside the country.  On the chopping block are programs such as Skype, Whats App, and others.

Saudi Arabia ranks near the top on the worldwide list for usage of electronic technology, surpassing many other countries in the use of social media sites like Twitter, Facebook, and other such applications.  Saudis pride themselves on having state-of-the-art electronics and services.  

These past few months, there have been threats and warnings by the Saudi government issued to several communications platforms to comply with unclear and unspecified regulations - or be shut down.  It has been reported that local servers have apparently been requested from these companies so the Saudi government can monitor and censor activities of their users.  In 2010 under the threat of being closed down, Blackberry surrendered and provided the required servers rather than risk being banned.  

The first casualty of this censorship campaign is Viber, a company based out of Cyprus.  Viber was the easiest and most popular service used by Arab expats because of its Arabic formatted version and its compatibility with all computer operating systems and wireless networks.  There have been conflicting reports as to exactly why Viber was shut down.  According to reports, the suspension was put into effect because monitoring is difficult for the government and it robs licensed telecom companies of profits from international calls.  However Viber claims that the Saudi government agency in charge of this action made no prior request of the company.  

So is this just an act of desperate need for control by a paranoid Saudi government?  Or is this action motivated purely of greed?  It’s probably a combination of both.  With unrest wafting through the air since the Arab Spring, the Saudi government is no doubt on its guard.  Saudization, the government plan to replace foreign workers with Saudis, may also be a factor in this move, making it expensive for foreigners to call family back home when they have been able to do it for free for the past few years. 

Internet service and mobile phone costs in Saudi Arabia rank among the highest in the world.  With these applications providing users the ability to make free phone calls, exchange text messages, and photo file sharing, Saudi telecom providers are being deprived of potentially gargantuan revenues from these free services that, if controlled by Saudi telecom companies, could line their pockets with an exorbitant windfall.  
   
Considering how these applications are not only used by expats staying in touch with their families, but also by many Saudi students and travelers to maintain contact with their families, as well as by many businesses for basic communication needs, this move by the government is not welcomed by anyone other than the powerful and greedy Saudi telecommunications industry.   I’m convinced that the powers that be in Saudi Arabia just want to make simple things as difficult as they possibly can for the country’s residents.  The theory is that this type of thing is done to keep people’s focus on more trivial matters and keep the glare away from the government. 

At any rate, there will always be some other ingenuity used to circumvent these roadblocks put up by the Saudi government.  It’s just a pain in the meantime for those of us who aren’t that technologically astute to find a suitable detour.

More reading:

Arab News:  5 Expats arrested in crackdown against internet calls

American Bedu: The True Story of an American Spy

My friend Carol Fleming (American Bedu) is the subject of a documentary film. Her story is one that needs to be told - she was an American spy for the CIA when she met and fell in love with a Saudi diplomat. They were only married for 7 short years when he succumbed to cancer while at the same time, she herself was battling breast cancer - a fight she continues to this day.

They are in need of funding for this project. Can you help?

To make a donation, CLICK HERE.

Finding Nemo: Snorkeling in the Red Sea

After living in Saudi Arabia for 4 years, I finally got an opportunity to go out on a boat to the beautiful coral reefs of the Red Sea and go snorkeling. The Red Sea is considered one of the best places in the world to snorkel, and it did not disappoint. I’ve been fortunate to have snorkeled in many places around the globe when I was younger and in the travel business – the Great Barrier Reef, Hawaii, the Caribbean, Mexico, Fiji, Tahiti, to name a few – but I hadn’t been snorkeling in many years. And now at age 60, I wondered if I had the stamina for it.

Our group consisted of at least 20 mostly expats from various countries, like South Africa, Scotland, Lebanon, Iceland, Yemen, and others. Part of the group opted to go scuba diving while the rest of us snorkeled. The entire day trip, operated by a very professional outfit called Desert Sea Divers and which included a hot lunch of biriyani, cold drinks, snacks, and the rental of my snorkeling equipment cost a total of 225 Saudi Riyals, or about $56 US. We set out early in the morning on one of Desert Sea Divers lovely and well maintained boats. Everyone on the boat had to don the requisite orange life vests as we passed through the inlet to the Coast Guard checkpoint that led to the deep blue Red Sea. The women were also able to then remove our abayas and scarves and feel the delightful wind through our hair. Since this group consisted of expats, the gender segregation thing and the abaya thing once we were out in the open waters of the Red Sea were not a concern.

The weather in Jeddah in mid-April was warm and hit a high that day of about 35C. The anticipation was building during the 90 minute boat ride out to the reefs where we would be exploring the wonders of the Red Sea. Along the way, the captain slowed down in one spot where there were dozens of playful dolphins swimming alongside our boat. The astounding creatures put on quite a magnificent show for us, happily leaping out of the water through the air. We all felt sheer delight at seeing these handsome creatures. I was told that we were lucky and that this was a good omen for our trip since dolphins sightings like that don’t always happen that often.

We arrived at the first of three reefs we visited that day, and everyone busied themselves in preparation for entering the glimmering turquoise waters. I was really anxious to get into the water by that point. I jumped in and the seawater felt great. The temperature was just right. But boy, I have to say that the Red Sea is extremely salty!

The snorkeling was absolutely amazing. The colors in the coral reefs ranged from purples to blues and greens and reds and oranges and yellows. There were large areas where the reefs were extremely close to the surface. We were careful not to touch them. The fish were equally as colorful in stripes, dots, two tones, shiny metallics, and half and half. The clownfish we saw, like the ones made famous in the animated movie Finding Nemo, were bright orange, with white and black accents, but like many fish we saw, they appeared to have a mesmerizing neon glow to them. Many of the smaller fish traveled in regimented schools. We also were bedazzled by the sheer numbers of the glittering transparent purple neon jellyfish.

We spent about an hour at the first site before moving on to the second spot, not too far away. I carefully reapplied sunscreen before going into the water again, but unfortunately I forgot about my lower legs which were exposed and I suffered a bad sunburn on them. A few of us daredevils jumped into the water from the top deck. I should have held my nose – I swallowed a big mouthful of the salty seawater and it went up my nose too. The snorkeling here was just as spectacular as the first place. We broke for lunch and enjoyed chatting with each other. It was really a fantastic and diverse group of adventurous people, most of them in the kingdom for work and determined to make the most of their time in Saudi Arabia.

The third reef we explored was called Marble Gardens and was the largest and most outstanding reef of all. One sea creature that we hovered over in wonder looked like a foot long sea cucumber with a snakeskin pattern on its body and a spectacularly crowned head. It was also cool to see the scuba divers below us getting a closer look at the reefs further below us.

With the day nearing its end, we headed back in late afternoon. As we got closer to our port, we were entertained by some Saudi hotdogs on jet skis, who dangerously crisscrossed our boat at high rates of speed and shot into the air like rockets. At least one guy flipped over and he wound up in the water with his jet ski on its side. I wonder how frequently that happens and how many of these guys are injured (or worse) each year.

It was a full day jam-packed with fun, excitement, great people, and incredible sights. I was totally exhausted and slept like a baby last night. The pain I am feeling today on my sunburned legs was well worth the wonderful time I had. I’m already signed up for next month’s outing!

Further Information:

Desert Sea Divers in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

To learn more about why coral reefs are so darn colorful, this National Geographic article is a fascinating and informative read.

Screening of HOME: The Aramco Brats Story

The Jeddah Cultural Exchange Center (JCEC) was the site of a recent screening of the 90 minute film documentary “HOME: The Aramco Brats Story.” The movie is comprised of a series of interviews which were filmed over a period of several years. Aramco is the Arabian American Oil Company. Aramco Brats are the children of expat workers who helped develop Saudi Arabia’s oil industry. The company's personnel and their families who lived and grew up in Saudi Arabia hold a big reunion every two years, and the interviews for the documentary were conducted at these reunions during the past decade. The project was the brainchild of three Aramco Brats who were all born and raised in Saudi Arabia. After the events of 9/11 they felt it was their obligation to tell their stories about this place they call "Home," the country of Saudi Arabia and its people that they love and respect.

What struck me about the movie was what a perfectly ordinary existence these families of Aramco had living in Saudi Arabia, while at the same time they were afforded extraordinary opportunities and privileges they would not have had if they had not accepted the challenge to move to Saudi Arabia. In many ways, they got to live the best of both worlds. Those interviewed included men and women who spent their childhoods in Saudi Arabia. Some of them were sent to boarding schools in Europe during their high school years. They fondly remembered their carefree lives with the wondrous desert as their never-ending playground and the Persian Gulf as their swimming pool. Some had moved to KSA as early as the 1930s, which must have been quite an exciting adventure. They all feel that their experiences in Saudi Arabia have given them a much broader world view and an understanding of the culture, the religion, and the Saudi people that most folks don’t have. With opportunities to travel to other countries and learn about many cultures, one woman who was interviewed said she feels that she is a citizen of the world and not just one particular place.

One of my favorite stories revealed in this documentary was the hilarious tale of two young boys many decades ago who heard the King was in town. While their mothers played bridge, they found their way over to the compound where the King was staying but were turned away by guards at the gate. Not to be discouraged, they returned a short while later, dressed in full cowboy attire complete with red cowboy hats and toy guns in holsters. At the gate, they whipped out their guns and demanded an audience with the King. This time they were allowed in. The King was charmed by their presence and spent a good half an hour enjoying the company of the young boys. Before the boys left, the King gave them each a leather pouch with ten solid gold coins inside, which even back then was worth a small fortune. The boys immediately headed over to the local candy shop and emptied their coins onto the counter. The surprised shopkeeper gave them the entire contents of the store which they hauled back to the Aramco compound and shared with their friends.

The movie was shown outdoors under the stars on the rooftop of the JCEC building. The weather was absolutely lovely with a slight breeze that at times caused the screen to ripple. The sixty attendees were quite a diverse group of expats who all seemed to enjoy the chance to meet other expats and to view a movie screening in this land where there are no movie theaters. Men and women were seated on opposite sides of the aisle from each other in accordance with the gender segregation policy followed in Saudi Arabia.

I am very happy to be a part of the "Jeddah Brats," sponsors of this event, including the JCEC, Arabian Jewel, and Nomad Arabia. Plans are in the works for future joint events like this one, so stay tuned.

(Photos courtesy of JCEC)

HOME: The Aramco Brats Story

Home: The Aramco Brats Story is a 90 minute documentary film made by three young American men who were born and raised in Saudi Arabia. Their goal in making the film was to set the record straight about the country they grew up in and lovingly still call home, even though they no longer reside in Saudi Arabia. They were inspired after 9/11 happened to let the world know the real truth about the country of Saudi Arabia, the Saudi people and their religion. They wanted to dispel the assumptions and misconceptions that many people around the world were all too willing to believe.

A showing of this very special film is being offered at the Jeddah Cultural Exchange Center next Wednesday, April 4th at 7pm for expats in Jeddah. Seating is limited and reservations are required. Refreshments will be provided. I am proud and excited to be one of the presenters of this event, along with the Jeddah Cultural Exchange Center, Jeddah's Heart, Arabian Jewel, and Nomad Arabia.

If you are an expat in Jeddah and are interested in attending this event, email me at: susieofarabia@gmail.com and I will send you an invitation with information about how you can reserve your seat.

If you are not in Jeddah, you can still see the movie by ordering your own copy. Click here for more information.

Arab News: Blogging About the Saudi Experience

Arab News just published an article which interviewed four female bloggers who blog about Saudi Arabia.

I am honored to be included as one of the four bloggers.

The other three bloggers are my friend Carol at American Bedu, Laylah who writes Blue Abaya, and American Girl, author of Under the Abaya.

It's a really well written article about four women who are at very different points in their lives.

Please have a look.

http://arabnews.com/lifestyle/science_technology/article501623.ece

Alicia Ali: A Kinder, Gentler Saudi Arabia

Alicia Ali's name might sound familiar to you if you are a regular reader of this blog. Back in June of this year, I published an interview with two "Doulas" in Jeddah, and one of them was Alicia Ali. Now I want to introduce you to another side of Alicia - her creative, artistic, and passionate side. Through her colorful, bold art and her ethereal poetry, Alicia's expressions are an inspiration for Saudis and people abroad. She emphasizes "the need to embrace culture and adopt a pluralistic outlook, and encourages Saudis to share their artistic talent with the global community."


A native of Canada with Hijazi roots, Alicia and her Canadian husband have been living in Saudi Arabia for the past ten years. This busy mom of three founded an artists' network in Saudi Arabia called Arabian Jewel, which in collaboration with vital voices, hopes to profile artists (Saudi and non) in the Kingdom. Alicia also offers holistic services and education through her website called Your True Nature.

Noting the negative images that come to mind when people think of KSA, Alicia has a passion to present "the other side" of Saudi Arabia - a kinder, gentler side, if you will. Yet she says it can only be done by when artists work together sharing the same vision. An important part of her work here is to help bridge cultural gaps between expats and locals through the medium of culturalization. Promoting art and culture has served as an excellent tool in the education process. Her carefully selected themes such as love, wine and the soul, to name a few, may raise eyebrows here, yet she says she is adamant in "crossing ideological boundaries through the art of poetic expression in order to achieve a sense of humanistic equilibrium and unity. The hearts and minds open up when words encapsulated in tablets of love touch the soul, a healing effect." All her works are expressions of her personal experience in the "Land of Love," which is the title of a poem she wrote and recites in the video below.

If you are an artist in the Kingdom and would like to get your work profiled, Alicia welcomes you to contact her personally at: essentialfitra@yahoo.ca

Alicia Ali, artist for non-violence from Tayie Rehem on Vimeo.

Embrace Culture ... A Poem by Alicia Ali

To embrace culture is to embrace humanity
Embrace humanity and live in harmony
To achieve harmony within humanity
Is to live in a state of Unity
We are one human family
With all our diversities apparent and hidden
In essence we all come from the first man.

Up in Smoke

A spectacular fire on July 9, 2011, of a Jeddah six-story office building that totally destroyed the structure has raised questions about a dubious policy that many Saudi employers follow. Ravaging the twin towers of Alesayi Plaza near Madinah Road, the blazing inferno also destroyed some 17,000 foreign passports belonging to expatriate workers employed by companies such as Panasonic, Moulinex, and over 60 other businesses which were housed in the complex. The cause of the fire is still under investigation.

It is the policy of many employers in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia to confiscate the passports of workers and hold them until the employees leave the country. Unfortunately this policy has paved the way for many abuses to occur within the system with potentially disastrous ramifications, such as slavery, blackmail, withholding pay, and inability of workers to switch their employment to another company within Saudi Arabia.


There is no law in Saudi Arabia which requires workers to surrender their passports to their employers, however some companies falsely claim that they are following the law by holding their employees’ passports or may simply say that it is company policy. Companies explain that keeping workers’ passports is their way of protecting their investment by bringing workers into the country. The Kingdom requires that foreign workers have a legal sponsor, which would be the Saudi company they work for. According to Saudi law, workers are allowed to freely change jobs or employers and to change their sponsorship, however there is no government entity to ensure that foreign workers rights are protected.

For many foreign workers who had plans to leave the country, their departures will likely be delayed. This unfortunate event should be a wake-up call for the Saudi government to take control of this serious situation and enforce policy regarding the possession of foreign workers’ passports.


Related Arab News articles:

“Jeddah's Alesayi Plaza gutted by fire” – published July 9, 2011

“Second Alesayi tower on verge of collapse” – published July 10, 2011

“Alesayi fire burned 17,000 passports” – published July 18, 2011

“Your company is keeping your passport illegally” – published July 21, 2011

Photo Credits: Arab News and Abdul Sami Naik.

Expatriates and Loyalty

As an ex-pat living in Saudi Arabia, all too often I hear complaining about the treatment and attitudes of each other from both Saudis and foreign workers. I was taken aback when I first read the following op-ed piece written by retired Saudi naval officer, Abdulateef Al-Mulhim.

During my early years, I saw very few expatriates — Americans working for Aramco, Germans working for Phillip-Hollzmann, Indians and Pakistanis working in hospitals and the Alhassa electric company.

But by the end of 1973, the Saudi demography changed forever. Oil prices rose sharply and the Kingdom had the biggest economic boom and the largest infrastructure projects in modern history. The mega projects during the 1970s required hundreds of thousands of skilled and non-skilled workers. The doors of Saudi Arabia were wide open.

Now, we have 8 million expatriates, Muslims, non-Muslims, Arabs and non-Arabs. Expatriates entered our closed doors and closed society. In the past some small towns never saw a foreign man or woman except in some magazines. Nowadays, every home, hospital, company and school has many expatriates.

But, how about the loyalty of the 8 million expatiates to the Kingdom? Should we be worried about them? During the past 20 years, the loyalty of the expatriates was put to the most stressful test. The first was in August 1990 during the invasion of Kuwait. Then there were sudden terrorist attacks in Saudi Arabia a few years after the 9/11 attacks in the US.

In both cases, the expatriates showed an amazing and genuine loyalty to the Kingdom. During Desert Shield and Desert Storm, only very few expatriates left the Kingdom and some left because they already had scheduled their leave and simply took it earlier or extended it. But, we have to understand their motives. And during the peak of the war, we saw expatriates from the Arab world, Philippines, India, Pakistan and Western countries who were ready to die for Saudi Arabia. And nobody forced them to stay. Some Saudi embassies abroad received calls from former employees who worked in the Kingdom, and they offered to fly to the Kingdom to defend it. No one asked them to do so, but they stayed loyal to our Kingdom.

Former Saudi Aramco employees in the US were the most effective public relations means for the Kingdom when Saudi-American relations were shaky after the 9/11 attacks. And later on, during the terrorist attacks in Saudi Arabia, the cooperation of the expatriates with Saudi authorities won the admiration of every Saudi. I asked one Indian engineer why he wanted to defend Saudi Arabia during the liberation of Kuwait. I consider Saudi Arabia is my country, he said. And I once spoke to an American classmate of mine who works for Saudi Aramco of why he didn’t leave the Kingdom during the terrorist attacks, and he said, I would not leave Saudi Arabia till they tell me to leave. His loyalty is to Saudi Arabia.

The other beautiful side of expatriates in the Kingdom is that they are the ones who built the country. They came over because we wanted them to. They did not board a boat and land illegally on Saudi beaches. And if we want some of them to leave then we have to do a lot of changes in our habits. We have to change our work ethics. Why do we, the Saudis bring a nonskilled worker just to make coffee in a company office? Why do we have a lot of street sweepers? We can reduce their numbers by simply not throwing any garbage in the streets. We even can decrease the number of workers at McDonald’s restaurants if we pick and clean the tables after we finish from a big Mac Meal.

I am the biggest supporter of employing Saudis, but we have to get rid of some habits from our social system. Our fathers and grandfathers worked at humble jobs and were not ashamed of it. Now we have 8 million expatriates, the Saudis must win the hearts of the expatriates by thanking them for their work. A smile can make a big difference. This is in particular to the maids and nannies. I know some nannies in some Saudi homes are mistreated, but there are nannies who travel all over the world with their sponsors. Giving an expatriate his salary on time is the most important part of the relations. He has a family to feed back home. Also Saudi mothers have to share the responsibilities of raising the children and Saudi men have to be the main family driver, not someone from a faraway place. With 8 million expatriates, we should expect the frictions because of a few bad apples. Saudis and expatriates shouldn’t let the bad apple spoil our relations. Embassies in the Kingdom should also put more efforts to help their citizens. As for the loyalty of expatriates to the Kingdom, well, to some expatriates, our Kingdom is the only place they know and love.

— Abdulateef Al-Mulhim is commodore (Retd.), Royal Saudi Navy. He is based in Alkhobar and can be contacted at: almulhimnavy@hotmail.com
The article can be seen in its entirety along with part of a panel discussion on this topic on this SUSRIS page. For a short bio and links to more thoughtful articles by Al-Mulhim, please see this SUSRIS link.

The Inside Outsider

Many children of mixed marriages in Saudi Arabia (usually the father is Saudi and the mother is not) have identity issues. They do not particularly feel accepted by or part of either of their parents’ cultures. Certainly when my son moved to Saudi Arabia at 14, he felt much more American than he did Saudi. Had he been exposed to the Saudi culture at a younger age, perhaps he would have felt differently. Or maybe he would have felt even more confused about his identity.

I’d like to introduce you to “The Inside Outsider,” who is half-Saudi and half-American. She and her siblings were raised as “citizens of the world,” attending schools in Saudi Arabia, America and Europe. Now in her mid-30s, she is married to a Saudi man and is raising her own children. They live in KSA but travel frequently outside the country, exposing her kids to the many wonders and complexities of our globe.

The following is sage advice and unique insights she has for newcomers to Saudi Arabia who are trying to fit in and make a normal life for themselves in this country that has many cultural roadblocks in the way, as well as attitudes hostile to the modern world. So here, in her own words, is “The Inside Outsider.”

*******************************

About this place they call "Saudi," I have a lot to say about it. I have many feelings that are buried deep down inside, and for the first time, I am going to bring them out. I am turning my thoughts and feelings into words; these have been building up since childhood.

Saudi Arabia is a unique place. It’s a place where the ancient wisdom that it was once renowned for is long gone, buried under the mineral and black gold that seems to have given it new character and personality. A wisdom that has no more value, a wisdom that is now considered worthless and those who try to practice it are shunned and pushed aside. The ancient leaders of Arabia, the well-known prophets, scientists, romantics, poets, and many others would be appalled at what it has become today.

The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia often reminds me of the television series "LOST." It is a place with a strange power that controls everybody - a power that is unseen, unexplained, scary, yet resourceful. It is a place that is a "goldmine," a "safe haven," and a "no mans land," where if you place yourself properly, you can get away with murder - literally. This place attracts the most insufficient, unprofessional, unethical, dishonest people from all around the world. It attracts people who cannot make a decent living, people who have been convicted for something minor or even major, people who escape taxes, people who cannot get it together in their own countries – they all come here.

Saudi Arabia has a very low standard for anything ethical or professional. Its people are lazy, consuming, demanding, self righteous, spoiled and incapable. During the past 20-30 years, they have been in a slumber induced by a lack of leadership and tight controls on everything, which retarded any kind of growth. Losers from other countries come here to make a quick buck. I personally know and can name a few. These people come from all walks of life - the Americans, the British, the Indians, the Bengalis, the Filipinos, the Egyptians, etc, etc.

Saudi residents tend to group together to create little clicks, gangs, mafias - whatever you want to call it - survival groups that are bonded by the same goals, mentality, and mind set with strong loyalties to each other. These groups are very difficult to infiltrate if you are not like-minded. They are based on a commonality that each individual has while excluding any others. This grouping can be among siblings, extended family members, school friends, college friends, colleagues at work, or specific social classes and groups. If you find yourself trying to fit in, you will not be able to unless the majority in the group find a commonality that they can accept you for. They are in control not you; so don’t even try to fit in.

This is where I tell you not to be concerned with cultural differences or racial differences, because these are not what the society is based on. I don’t feel like there is a real culture in Saudi Arabia anymore. Society doesn’t practice true Arabian or Islamic behavior of generosity anymore. No more open homes, free food, kind words, smiles, helping hands, or anything that the Arabs or Muslims were previously very well known for. There no longer exists the Arabian Knight on a shiny white horse.

Don’t be afraid; be proud that you don’t fit in. I personally felt extremely reassured and relieved when I realized that I don’t fit in fully and that I never will. I have been brought up in a multi-cultural home, which is non-judgmental, considerate, kind and forgiving. I was ecstatic when I finally accepted that I would never be a full part of the Saudi people of today. I may never really fit in anywhere, but I know that the human characteristics that really matter in the end are the ones that I want to practice and hold on to even if that means that I am estranged from my own “home town.”

This place has to have a purpose for you, besides it being a home. You have to find something that you can only be able to take advantage of in such a country - maybe like completing a higher degree because of the long empty hours you will have affording plenty of time to study, or work experience that is unique, or exposure to others who may get you a foot in the door somewhere. Make this place work for your personal gains. Don’t just exist here for the sake of your children; they will also never really fit in. Let them be who you want them to be, not who you think the society will accept - because it’s not going to happen. They should be good people with beautiful human characteristics, with universal rules to follow - people who can live anywhere in the world and make you proud.

Always make sure you have an escape - yes, a way out! Always keep your passports with you, especially the American ones. Make sure you have the consulate’s number with you at all times. Always have a plan that will get you and your kids out of here if necessary. Most Saudis have and or seek dual citizenship for this reason - an escape route. Those who don’t have dual citizenship truly envy those who do. People may mistreat you only because they know that you and your kids can leave if you ever wanted or had to, and that the American government will support you as a person no matter what. YOU ARE THE UNTOUCHABLES, and that’s why you feel the hate.

Of course there are many good things here, but you must wade through the bad and scrape it off before you can see or appreciate the good. That’s just the way it is - the most annoying stuff just gets right up into our faces. In my opinion it is one of the most difficult countries in the world to live in. This place is “special” in many different ways. You will find those few and far between people whom you will not be able to live without. These are the people who will appear when you are most in need and they can keep you afloat. These people will be your friend no matter where you go, and they are in the same position you are in, so they understand.

Don’t be who you are not, and don’t try to change. That is the biggest cause for distress and depression when living in Saudi. Because no matter how hard you try to please family members, friends, or “the group,” they will never appreciate it and never be pleased because you are just not one of them - and you will never be. It’s the painful truth; they will just laugh at you and talk about you behind your back. So be your beautiful Californian blonde self and enjoy being that. Their envy is killing them!

A very strong tool to use in Saudi is silence. If they can’t hear your thoughts they can’t control you. If they can’t see what you are all about they can’t get to you. Saudi people are experts at reverse psychology and mental manipulation. They have a skill at finding your weaknesses and going for you. If they don’t hurt you today, they will tomorrow. Keep your thoughts to yourself and that is your power against them.

I know that it is tough because you must live in survival mode constantly. You must become accustomed to protecting yourself and building a strong defense mechanism. It is exhausting and sometimes not worth it. But if you choose to live here, this is the advice I have for you. This is what I have learned living amongst them as an “inside outsider.”

Sheikh Hamza Yusuf Video with Women in Saudi Arabia

American-born Sheikh Hamza Yusuf became a Muslim in 1977 and has studied Islam with scholars from around the world since that time. He is one of the most visible and respected Islamic leaders in America and founded the Zaytuna Institute and Zaytuna College, both in California, to provide Islamic education for those desiring it. He also leads religious pilgrimmages called The Sacred Caravan to Saudi Arabia to visit the holy sites of Islam each year.

I think you will find the videos below (Part 1 and Part 2) of this frank discussion of Islam and how it relates to women quite interesting. In the videos, Sheikh Hamza meets with a group of women in Saudi Arabia. Much of the discussion centers on how the interpretation of Islam in Saudi Arabia is perverted (for lack of a better word) and how the practise of Islam in KSA is not necessarily what the religion intended.

Children's Day Care in Jeddah

Children's day care is not that easy to find here in Saudi Arabia. Many families employ foreign domestic help as maids or nannies, and not that many women work here - so there is not the demand for day care here like there is in the states where both parents often work. There are usually child care facilities available in Western compounds where working expats live or at schools where a large percentage of employed women work.

Mommy Deb's Day Care opened in Jeddah in 2010. It is centrally located in An Nahda District.  The normal daycare hours are from 8 - 5 week days only.  The facility provides care for children of all ages, including infants.

Other services provided are tutoring and English conversation classes for school age kids and adult women with flexible hours daily after school and into the evening. Children can enjoy activities such as reading, painting, singing, dress-up, building blocks, or other imaginitive play.


Mommy Deb has lived in Jeddah on and off for about 40 years. She has raised six children of her own and has babysat since she was a teenager.

Mommy Deb also has lots of teaching experience too, having taught Kindgarten through 12th grades throughout the years. Aside from her natural motherly instincts, she has also taken a training course to become a certified daycare provider in the states.

For rates or more information, please contact Mommy Deb via email at: mommydebsdaycareis@gmail.com

Pink Ribbon Earns KSA Place in History

Women in Saudi Arabia made history last night, shattering the existing Guinness Book of World Records in the formation of the largest human pink ribbon chain emphasizing global awareness in the battle against breast cancer.

I don't know if the rest of the world actually realizes or appreciates what a seemingly impossible feat this really was to achieve in such a deeply cultured, strictly religious, and male-dominated society like Saudi Arabia where women are hidden behind black drapes when out in public. KSA has a reputation for being known as a place where women should not be seen or heard from, where women must have a legal male guardian all their lives, and where the rights of women are seen by the rest of the world as being limited, antiquated, and oppressed.


Logistically speaking, the odds were against us. Since females are prohibited from driving here in the "Magic Kingdom," what that means is that every single woman who participated in the event - except those who may have been close enough to walk to the site - was driven to the venue by a man.


Organizing and pulling off a stunt like this was a daunting task in a country where mass gatherings are discouraged and where men and women mingling together in public places is strictly forbidden. There were no men allowed inside the Ministry of Education Sports Stadium, which had never before been used to host an event for women. In fact I was told by an event organizer that the management of the stadium had initially refused to open the stadium for women. A call from higher powers quickly corrected that issue and the management was on board. Other male protesters in law enforcement and city government who voiced their objections were also quashed, and their objections turned into offers of assistance and support.


I also learned that the religious authorities were in a tizzy (no surprise here) over the fact that women would be gathering together like this en masse. However, at every turn the objectors were overruled. The event's organizers had gone through all the proper channels, followed protocol, received approvals and official documents from every required governmental agency, and had the full support of the government to proceed with this monumental occasion. In fact, if it weren't for the major clout backing this event, women in Saudi Arabia would likely have never been able to pull it off. The clout I'm speaking of responsible for the conception and implementation of this ground-breaking event was Princess Reema bint Bandar bin Sultan and the Zahra Breast Cancer Association of which she is a founding member.


I had the honor and privilege of meeting Princess Reema at the event last night and was taken aback when she thanked me for the post I had written announcing this event and told me she reads my blog! I awkwardly apologized for sometimes complaining about things here in KSA and lamely joked with her that there wasn't much else for me to do here. She was very gracious, charming and regal, while at the same time being so very normal and approachable - exactly the way I imagine a princess should be.

We arrived at the stadium shortly after 5pm, when the gates were opened. There was already quite a large crowd of women, with more and more arriving with every passing minute. Once inside the gate, there was a table where we had to obtain ticket stubs in order to then go to another table to get our pink hooded ponchos which were provided free of charge to all attendees. Because of the enormous crowd of women, this process took at least half an hour. There were also a variety of booths for sponsors, including Zahra Breast Cancer Association, Al Bidayah Breastfeeding Resource and Women's Awareness Center, and Avon. Free bottled water was also available.


For weeks beforehand, the old stadium was readied for the event. The bathrooms were renovated and the hole-in-the-ground toilets were replaced with regular seated toilets. I'm guessing that there are only men's toilets at the facility since women had historically never been allowed to attend any events held there before this because of this society's strict gender segregation policies. The grassy field was watered and tended to and was perfectly manicured. I can't recall ever seeing that much grass in one place here in Saudi Arabia since I've been here! The VIP section in the center was furnished with nice padded chairs for special guests (including me!), and there were beautiful large throne-like chairs where the princesses in attendance were seated.

The daytime temperature had reached an irritable and stifling 100F (37C) and the humidity was a muggy 70%. Needless to say, that stadium was packed with a lot of uncomfortable sweaty women who were anxious and excited to come together for a common cause despite the weather conditions. Every single woman had to be counted by the Guinness representative before she was allowed to do the Avon Walk for the Cure on the track around the grassy field, which had been carefully marked into the pattern shaped into the large breast cancer awareness ribbon. I was part of the first group of 100 to be counted and to begin the journey around the track. As we passed the grandstands where thousands of women were seated, waiting for their turns to be counted, the women began cheering and waving and singing the Saudi national anthem. Excitement was in the air - it was phenomenal and very uplifting.


Estimates were that there were about 6000 women total in attendance, however some were unable to stay the entire time due to transportation issues. The crowd was made up of not just Saudi women, but included expats from many countries around the world including the USA, England, Europe, and many Asian and African countries. I met young women from at least two local international schools who were tranported there by the busfuls. I also met women who had flown in from Riyadh just for this event and others who had driven from Mecca and Taif. Even in the sweltering heat and in the midst of only females, some of the women who came still felt compelled to wear their face veils because of all the cameras around.

There were also hundreds of volunteers who assisted in so many ways to make the event a success. It took well over an hour for the ribbon formation to take shape and be filled in. Those of us who were first on the field began to sit on the grass. We were already all hot, sticky, and sweaty anyway, so it wasn't like we were concerned about getting a little grass, insects, or dirt on us at that point! And actually sitting on the grass made me cool down a little bit. Slowly the sea of women dressed in pink ponchos united for a cause became the symbol for Breast Cancer Awareness. The exact official count has not yet been released by Guinness, however it is clear that Saudi Arabia exceeded the German record of 3640 participants set in 2007.


The heat, the humidity, the crowds, the pushing, the waiting, the standing, the discomfort, the sweating - was it all worth it? YES!!!

This was an historic achievement in so many ways for the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. I think it shows that Saudi Arabia wants to be an active and integral part of the modern global community. I also feel that it indicates that Saudi Arabia doesn't want to be perceived as that strange and oppressive country that many people around the world fear or criticize because it has always been such a mystery. I think this event also shows that the royal family and many people of Saudi Arabia want the country to progress and are not afraid of change if it's for the good of the country. I hope I'm right!

At any rate, I am proud to say that I was there; I was part of it.



Arab News article "Saudi Pink Ribbon Breaks Guinness Record."

Saudi Gazette article "Kingdom Breaks World Record."

Click here for the Guinness Website article and awesome photos about another breast cancer awareness record that was broken on October 1st.

Blogger in KSA Blocked Within the Kingdom

Sand Gets in My Eyes is one of my favorite reads among the blogs coming out of Saudi Arabia. It is written by an American woman with grown children who has lived in Saudi Arabia for several years with her American husband who works for Aramco. Her posts are always well written and thought provoking. She writes with passion about important topics regarding women's and children's issues and societal problems.

Her blog has been blocked from viewing within Saudi Arabia. This happened to my own blog about a year and a half ago. Websites that are blocked are usually blocked because they contain pornography or show too much skin, religious (especially when they are critical of Islam), or sites that are critical of the Saudi government or culture. Many people do not realize the stress that bloggers in the Middle East are under because there is no freedom of speech here like in the West. Saudi blogger Fouad Al-Farhan was imprisoned in KSA in December of 2007 for criticizing the corruption in this country and advocating for change. No charges were ever brought against him, he had very limited contact with his family, and he was thankfully released four months later.

Above is the page that people within Saudi Arabia see when a website is blocked in the country. This situation can often be rectified by the government department which blocked it in the first place, likely the result of receiving a complaint and going ahead and blocking the blog without really looking into it. If enough people send in requests to unblock the website, then someone at the Saudi government internet office will physically go in and look at the site and hopefully come to the conclusion to unblock it.

Here is the link to the page where you can file an "Unblock Request." It's a very short and easy to fill out form. Please help FREE Sand Gets in My Eyes!

ExPat Blog of the Month

I am so proud to announce that this blog has been selected as "Blog of the Month" on ExPat Blog - an online forum for expatriates living all over the world.

ExPat Blog offers a place for people to connect with other expats and to share our experiences with each other. We can post photos, links to our blogs, ask questions, and join in discussions on the online forums. For people interested in living in another country, there is abundant and vital information posted about many countries around the world, such as living accommodations, health care, cost of living, schools, getting around, and activities.

You can read my interview on ExPat Blog here.

There is quite an interesting and eclectic group of expats who have been previously featured as Expat Blog of the Month, and I hope you will take the time to check out their stories as well.

Carol's Cats

I have written before about my friend and fellow blogger Carol, known as American Bedu. She and her Saudi husband were both diagnosed with cancer and traveled to the USA to receive medical treatment. Carol's beloved husband Abdullah lost his fight with leukemia in February 2010. Carol continues to remain in the states and is still aggressively battling breast cancer.

Carol's blog, American Bedu, is one of the most widely read and helpful sources of information about Saudi Arabia that there is. She is a former US diplomat who has lived and traveled around the world. She has faithfully and tirelessly continued posting during her health crisis and has faced this challenge with grace and dignity.

I know I don't have to tell you how expensive health care is in the USA. Her insurance through her husband's policy was abruptly ended shortly after his death. So on top of her fight for her life, Carol is also facing financial difficulties.

She is a cat lover and terribly misses her two cats, which she was forced to leave behind in Saudi Arabia. Carol is now trying to bring her beloved cats to North Carolina. Can you help by making a donation to help her reach her modest goal? If you can, you will be helping to bring back some much needed comfort and familiarity into the life of my friend whose life has been turned upside down these last few years by the tragedy of illness and the loss of her dear husband.

Please click here to read more about Carol and learn how you can easily make a PayPal donation for her cause.

UPDATE: The goal has been reached and Carol will be reunited with her cats soon!